Not-for-profit-dad and I have a lot in common. We both work in the non-profit field, we both have boy/girl twins, we’re both baseball fans, and we both blog about our kids. I am very grateful that he decided to share his family traditions – particularly how they center around his Jewish faith. If you are not familiar with his blog, please read him. He’s funny and articulate and a must on your blogroll.

-Matthew.

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There is a weekly tradition we have in our house of observing Shabbat, the Jewish sabbath. Now, I would say that the MOWA and I don’t fit into any particular “flavor” of Judaism, but it would be accurate to say that the synagogue that we have not attended for the past year is a conservative synagogue. At different times in our lives we have held different levels of observance — the MOWA used to hang-out at Chabad House and at another time she regularly attended an orthodox Sephardic synagogue. I have at various times been a regular attendee at synagogue and at other times been the guy eating the cheeseburger at the McDonalds in the Tel Aviv bus station. We keep kosher in our house, although I do eat non-kosher meat outside the home, I avoid mixing milk and meat and completely avoid meat that would not be kosher under any circumstance (shellfish, pork, catfish – with the occasional exception of eel at sushi restaurants). The MOWA in-part because she is a vegetarian but more because she’s a better Jew than me, is kosher 24/7/365. We use electricity on shabbat and drive and do other things that distinctly place us in the “other-than-orthodox-camp.” All of that is really just to set-up the unique way we observe Shabbat with the kids every Friday night.

Traditionally, Shabbat begins at sundown. In our house it begins about 15 minutes before the twins’ bathtime. The MOWA lights the two candles and says the prayer, letting Girl Twin know she should be saying it with her as it is traditionally the woman’s job to light the candles. After we light the candles everyone gets a kiss and a greeting of “shabbat shalom.” This is a tradition I grew up with and we make sure that everyone gives everyone a kiss — all the combinations and permutations possible.

Then we say kiddush, the prayer over the wine (in this case grape juice). This is the twins’ favorite part because they know the whole thing ends with them getting to drink grape juice. We use a special “kiddush cup” that the MOWA made at a paint-your-own pottery store, it is very colorful and whenever the kids see the cup they get very excited (which can be a problem at all other non-Shabbat times). The cup is also special to the MOWA and myself because when we were going through infertility we incorporated a ritual into our Shabbat observance that included making a special prayer in-honor of the famously infertile matriarchs of the bible over the same kiddush cup filled with pomegranite juice. Now we use the same cup to make kiddush with our kids every friday night as a reminder of what we overcame and of how blessed we are. At the end of the prayer, the MOWA and I drink from the kiddush cup. Now the kids get their own sippy cups of grape juice, but before they were old enough for that we used to give them grape juice in an eye dropper. It’s great to see how excited they get for the sweet grape juice, which I hope they will always associate with the sweetness of shabbat and the joy of being together with family.

Finally we say the motzi — which is a prayer over the challah bread, although we frequently substitute Cheerios. This is for two reasons. 1) I frequently fail in my task of picking up a challah on Friday afternoon. 2) Challah is made with an egg wash and in their first year of life we avoided exposing the kids to eggs because apparently that increases their odds of escaping food allergies. Since the kids have been able to eat eggs we’ve continued using Cheerios — now it is sort of our tradition and for all intents and purposes and may persist into the future. When we actually do have a challah we all place our hands on it and say the prayer together. With Cheerios it’s a little harder to achieve that effect, so generally we give them the Cheerios and try and say the prayer before they’ve shoved them down their throats.

We finish-up with another round of kisses and shabbat shalom’s and sometimes sing a shabbat song like “Shalom Aleichem” or “Put the Chicken in the Pot.”

Sometimes, when I have to work late on Friday, the MOWA does shabbat with the kids while I’m on speaker-phone. It sucks to miss it, but I’m glad that it is something that happens every week for the kids. What do I hope my children get out of this? That it is a way of marking the end of the week, of taking time for family and setting aside a sacred space in a unique Jewish way. I hope that it instills in them a love of Judaism not because they have no choice (the reality in America is that they do have a choice whether I like it or not), but because they find meaning in the rituals, the traditions and moral code it stands for. Most important I hope it reinforces that Judaism has a place in their life every day and every week — not just three times a year and at Chanukah.

I come from a small family. We didn’t have many family traditions growing up – especially around the holidays. Well, that’s not entirely true. We had two traditions.

The first tradition, was on Christmas Eve my brother and I would lie in our room and basically tell each other what we were getting for Christmas. “I know what you’re getting” I’d whisper in the dark. “I know what you’re getting” he’d whisper back. “I’ll tell you one thing, if you tell me one thing” I’d say. And on it would go.

The second tradition was we were not allowed to leave our room on Christmas Day until there was daylight coming into the window and my mother had her first cup of coffee.

That’s about it. We were not a tradition laden family. Not to say we were not close. We were a close family growing up and my relationship with my brother was as close as one could be considering he was five years younger than myself.

But now I have a family of my own and Andrea and I are trying to decide what traditions we would like to implement into our own household. Here’s what we have come up with so far…

1) Christmas Ornaments. Since we’ve been together, Andrea and I have given each other a special Christmas ornament that represents the previous year. In 2000, we gave each other ornaments that commemorated our wedding. In 2004 we gave each other ornaments that represented our moving into our new home. This year, no doubt, we’ll find ornaments that somehow represent the birth of TheMonk and Swee’Pea. Our goal is that someday, every ornament on the tree will be filled with memories that we gave to each other. This year we will start by giving TheMonk and Swee’Pea an ornament. I’ll choose TheMonk’s this year and Andrea will choose Bri’s. Next year, we’ll switch. When they are adults, they’ll have 18+ years of special ornaments to take with them to their new families.

2) Family Night. As the babies grow up and we start to have sports practices, scout meetings, and other busy lives, we want to have one night a week where it’s about our family. I envision playing board games, baking cookies, going to a sporting event – anything that involves our family as a unit. I think it’s important for us to be together as a family.

I’m sure more will evolve through time and will become part of our family history. Hopefully we can choose traditions that can be passed along to our own children.

But one thing I’ve started to notice while reading many of the family blogs out there, is that so many others are doing wonderful things with their own families. So I began to wonder. What if I asked others out there to share their own family traditions? Wouldn’t it be great if we could learn about how families of different faiths and backgrounds have incorporated family traditions into their daily lives? So, I have asked some of my favorite bloggers to share with me their traditions that they embrace with their own families. These traditions don’t necessarily have to be about the holidays but I thought this would be a good time as we approach the holidays to learn what others are doing.

Now, in the coming weeks we’ll hear from people like Not-for-profit-dad, MetroDad, BIYF, Rude Cactus, Busy Mom, Morphing Into Mama, Mary P. and Baby Lauren’s Mom to name a few. I hope you’ll enjoy these as much as I do. As you read them, please use the comment section to chime in on your own traditions as well.

Happy Holiday season!

Milestones are happening left and right here at the Childsplay household. I’ve documented Swee’Pea’s scooting and it is important to make note of these. After all, this blog is a de facto baby book for the twins so they’ll have a record of their childhood when they’re an old fart like me.

But not every milestone is as exciting or glamorous as the next. For instance, I have scoured the baby books and the baby websites and I have found no reference to this interesting milestone:

The first time your child kicks you square in the family jewels.

Bri had this honor yesterday morning. I had her on our guest bed and was changing her diaper when I leaned over (I don’t remember why – probably to give her a kiss) when she summoned heretofore unknown powers and kicked me square in the testicles. Daddy’s knees buckled slightly but, like a boxer getting hit below the belt, I shook it off and continued the diapering.

But from now on, all diapering will be done from the side.

Yesterday, in my post, I mentioned that the babies aren’t mobile.

Uh, yeah. I was wrong.

While crawling might be a little bit down the road, Swee’Pea discovered the joys of scooting around on her back today. TheMonk tried this once a while ago but seems to have forgotten how liberating scooting around on one’s butt can be. Somehow I don’t think Swee’Pea is going to forget.

Andrea thinks this is funny. Daddy is going to have his hands even fuller over the next month.

MIM, wanted to hear about some frustrations of being a Stay At Home Dad. It seems I’m getting too warm and fuzzy for her taste. Well, truth be known, I’m a pretty laid back kinda guy. I generally roll with the punches and I didn’t come into this week with a lot of preconceptions about how 100% wonderful the experience would be. Also, Andrea did an awesome job getting the twins on a schedule and I would be a total bufoon (is bufoon spelled with one “f” or two?) to mess with the schedule.

Not to say there haven’t been any frustrations. So, to honor my fellow psychology parent (she puts the psycho in psychology), here are a few moments of frustration…

Where’s &*^$#)* Juan Valdez when you need him?!*
I am sooooo craving a Starbucks mocha right now. I have left the neighborhood once in the past seven days and I’m really missing my coffee. In fact, I can’t be the only person in this boat. Starbucks is on every damn street corner in the civilized world but is just a bit too far from where I live to risk a walk. What the F***? They have drive throughs and shops in grocery stores. Don’t these guys frickin’ deliver? No. They. Don’t.

It’s nice that you’re regular guys, but can’t you poop at night?
Andrea hasn’t had to change one damn poopy diaper. In the meantime I’m given an exhibition in “how many colors can poop actually be?” Yesterday, TheMonk went twice. I swear he was laughing at me when I had to change him the second time.

What am I, Dr. Huckstable?
The babies will be five months old next week. Andrea was with them all that time. Did they ever have a cold when she had them? Nooooooooooo. Guess what? Swee’Pea has a cold. She’s not diggin’ the “can’t breathe through my nose” thing. If she could speak, family blog or no family blog, she’d be cussin’ up a storm right now.

Did I mention I have TWO babies?
One’s about to fall asleep, the other squeals or shrieks (with a smile, of course). One needs a diaper change, the other is pissed that we’re not around. I start to get one baby set up to feed and the other can’t wait (I can hear Andrea now, “try that while breastfeeding.”). Anyway, there’s two of them and only one of me. Yeah, there’s some frustration sometimes – and the babies let me know about it.

So that’s a sample of the frustrations that have befallen me the past week. And while the good have far outweighed the bad I have two things going for me that many with two children do not. 1) Neither of my kids are mobile. I lay them down on the floor, they’re gonna be there when I return (and I mean, they’ll be there for hours). 2) I know I’ll be at work in 4+ weeks and they’ll be someone else’s problem.

Lucky them.

*I normally swear in real life. But family reads this so language has to be PG-13 at the most. Use your imagination.

Some quick observations of my last few days…

“Would you like to lower your mortgage payment today?”
There should be a special place in hell for telemarketers. I always thought that those people who called precisely when we sat down to dinner were the worst. I was wrong. The people who call right when I finally get both babies to sleep are the worst. Don’t even get me started on those who want me to change my nice, 30-year fixed rate mortage for an interest-only mortagage so I can see “substantial savings.”

They don’t “just keep going and going…”
We have vibrating bouncy seats for the twins. They love the vibrations when they’re cranky. The vibrations are produced by a single “D” battery. I have gone through six “D” batteries in the past week. Of course, if I’d just remember to turn the damn things off when the babies aren’t in them, they might last a bit longer. I’m down to my last D battery and it’s only Thursday. What am I going to do? Maybe I can just get Nutmeg the cat to purr on them or something (yeah right, she still won’t go near them).

“Daddy, I have a tickle in my throat.”
Bri has started to use a fake cough. My sister-in-law warned us of this tactic as my nephew Tommy used the fake cough whenever he was annoyed. Swee’Pea is clearly using it to get my attention. It’s not working though. Really, it’s not. Bri, take a cough drop for cryin’ out loud! See. It’s not working.

What’s next, the building full of charcoal?
Twice in the past month a warehouse full of something extremely flammable has burned down within a a few miles of us. Last month it was a warehouse full of wooden pallets. This week it was a warehouse full of cardboard boxes. The air quality hasn’t been so hot so we haven’t been able to take that long anticipated walk (that’s my reason, and I’m sticking to it).

What do you mean Mommy doesn’t do it this way?
When it comes to play time here at the Childs Play household, we pull out all the stops. Yes, they get tummy time and we practice rolling on the rubber mats, but we also have “race around the house” time. I hold one baby out in front of me (facing outwards) and race around the house yelling “I’m on top of the wooorrrrrllllllld.” We end up collapsing on the bed in our bedroom where I shower them with kisses and tumble them around the soft covers. They love it.

Keep the Binky in your mouth, Bri.
I have looked online and I have found no tool or device that keeps a binky in a kids mouth. Not-for-profit-dad had once mentioned duct tape, but that wasn’t on this list so I don’t think I should try it. I’ll have to keep looking because Swee’Pea likes to play the “how many times will daddy keep putting the binky back in my mouth” game. Answer: As many times as it gets her to sleep.

Okay, so it’s not the greatest of milestones, but it’s a start.
We have a couple of neighbors who have babies that were born about 1 month and 2 months after ours were, respectively. Every time they mention what they’re kid is doing – something like rolling around on the floor or reciting pi to the 20th digit, I think, “Wow, your kids are advanced! Andrea pointed out to me the other day that our kids might be a bit delayed in reaching certain milestones because they’re twins and they were smaller when born. That never occured to me. It never occured to me that our kids would be delayed in any way. Oh well. Today TheMonk held his own bottle all by himself for an entire feeding session. Pretty impressive considering I can’t hold my own beer bottle to my mouth for more than a few seconds at a time. So go smoke that you pi reciting little rascals!

Hey, did you know Swee’Pea has poopy diapers?
Last night I had adult contact with people outside my house for the first time in five days. The Y I work for had it’s annual fund raising dinner and I went to help out (even though I was getting charged a vacation day). While there I found myself saying things like, “Bri was constipated yesterday and was really cranky. Then she had the biggest crap ever and it was all good after that.” What’s up with me? Is this what happens to people who spend inordinate amounts of time with babies? All we can come up with to make conversation is our children’s bowel movements? Lord help me.

Well, that’s just a few thoughts on this whole SAHD thing. Things are going well though. How come nobody told me the babies could be so much fun?

First, let me start by saying that this whole cafepress.com online store thing is all in good fun. I really don’t expect to make much money off of it but if you like a product and buy it, then adding a couple of dollars to the kids future bail bond scholarship fund wouldn’t hurt.

Since I’ve started fooling around with the graphic design software and created these fun little sayings to put on shirts, I’ve started to get inspiration from things I read, see, hear or remember. Below are a few examples…

This one is pretty straight forward. I mean, if I’m documenting all the stuff we do to with them, they’ll have it all right here for their therapist.

This one was inspired by my favorite daddy blogger, MetroDad. After reading about his troubles quitting smoking, I thought he might not be the only one out there with this problem.

This one wasn’t really inspired by one person but let’s just say a lot of you mommy and daddy bloggers out there drink a lot (MIM, you know who you are) (Only kidding, of course )

Finally, the twins Grandmother reminded me that I need some grandparent stuff on there. After all, they’re the ones with all the money. Who am I to argue?

Anyway, drop on by the store every once in a while if only to see the new stuff that’s up. If you have a request, let me know and I’ll be glad to make something up.

When professional athletes are asked the difference between the minor leagues and the major leagues, they often refer to the speed of the game. Everything moves much faster than what they are used to and they either have to adjust to that new speed or they will fail. In fact, when a player makes huge strides between one season and the next and has “a breakout year” they often mention how everything “slowed down” for them. They are no longer thinking, they just react.

Yesterday, things started to slow down for me. Am I up to major league level yet? Not quite. I forgot about making dinner until it was too late (Hello Panda Express!) and we planned to take a walk that never happened. Nevertheless, naps were taken (and at the same time, I might add), feedings were given, diapers were changed, and I didn’t feel totally rushed like I did on Monday.

So, let’s just say I’m a number one draft pick with potential. I’d even go so far as to say I’ve earned a promotion to Double A. In fact, if I can just get in a walk, I’ll be hitting a home run.

I have always been interested in cashing in on the twins creating things. And I’ve always been interested in t-shirts and the smart-ass things one can find on them. I’ve since found that you can extend that to baby items as well. So, I have decided to open up an on-line store that specializes in smart-ass shirts and onesies (and the occasional mug and bumper sticker) for adults, babies, twins and parents of twins. Please stop by and check it out. I’ll be sure to add more in the near future.

Below are my recent creations…

A Bri-utiful flower!