You want frustration? I’ll give you @#(*&^$ frustration!
MIM, wanted to hear about some frustrations of being a Stay At Home Dad. It seems I’m getting too warm and fuzzy for her taste. Well, truth be known, I’m a pretty laid back kinda guy. I generally roll with the punches and I didn’t come into this week with a lot of preconceptions about how 100% wonderful the experience would be. Also, Andrea did an awesome job getting the twins on a schedule and I would be a total bufoon (is bufoon spelled with one “f” or two?) to mess with the schedule.
Not to say there haven’t been any frustrations. So, to honor my fellow psychology parent (she puts the psycho in psychology), here are a few moments of frustration…
Where’s &*^$#)* Juan Valdez when you need him?!*
I am sooooo craving a Starbucks mocha right now. I have left the neighborhood once in the past seven days and I’m really missing my coffee. In fact, I can’t be the only person in this boat. Starbucks is on every damn street corner in the civilized world but is just a bit too far from where I live to risk a walk. What the F***? They have drive throughs and shops in grocery stores. Don’t these guys frickin’ deliver? No. They. Don’t.
It’s nice that you’re regular guys, but can’t you poop at night?
Andrea hasn’t had to change one damn poopy diaper. In the meantime I’m given an exhibition in “how many colors can poop actually be?” Yesterday, TheMonk went twice. I swear he was laughing at me when I had to change him the second time.
What am I, Dr. Huckstable?
The babies will be five months old next week. Andrea was with them all that time. Did they ever have a cold when she had them? Nooooooooooo. Guess what? Swee’Pea has a cold. She’s not diggin’ the “can’t breathe through my nose” thing. If she could speak, family blog or no family blog, she’d be cussin’ up a storm right now.
Did I mention I have TWO babies?
One’s about to fall asleep, the other squeals or shrieks (with a smile, of course). One needs a diaper change, the other is pissed that we’re not around. I start to get one baby set up to feed and the other can’t wait (I can hear Andrea now, “try that while breastfeeding.”). Anyway, there’s two of them and only one of me. Yeah, there’s some frustration sometimes – and the babies let me know about it.
So that’s a sample of the frustrations that have befallen me the past week. And while the good have far outweighed the bad I have two things going for me that many with two children do not. 1) Neither of my kids are mobile. I lay them down on the floor, they’re gonna be there when I return (and I mean, they’ll be there for hours). 2) I know I’ll be at work in 4+ weeks and they’ll be someone else’s problem.
Lucky them.
*I normally swear in real life. But family reads this so language has to be PG-13 at the most. Use your imagination.
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To all concerned: Matthew has always been a cheerful, calm and a glass-is-half-full kinda (baby)guy. Matthew, you and your fellow SAHD’s are going where men of the previous generation dared not go. Let’s face it parenting is the most difficult career anyone will encounter but it may be one of the most rewarding.
Comment by Grandmother — November 4, 2005 @ 2:50 pm
Speaking of breastfeeding (and I KNOW you want to hear this), I had to feed one while using my foot to rock the other one in her bouncy feet. If my toddler was handy and wanted something, that usually meant another appendage was busy with him. (Although, in the early days, I usually waited to feed the girls until I got him down for a nap. Which means I never got a nap. Because by the time I was done with them, he was awake again.) Yes, I was that picture of the woman who had — what — eight arms and used every one of them.
And I hear ya on the poopy diapers. It’s just not fair. I swear, there were days when I thought I’d gotten baby poop up my nose because that’s ALL I could smell.
Buffoon has two f’s.
Schedules are good. Very good.
Comment by Becky — November 4, 2005 @ 4:34 pm
Oops. That would be bouncy SEAT, not feet.
Comment by Becky — November 4, 2005 @ 4:35 pm
Two f’s.
I swear in my real life, too, but never (never?) on the blog – because I never swear at work. At least not audibly.
“On her little bouncy feet”. LOL Hey, Becky, I know some kids like that!!
Comment by Mary — November 4, 2005 @ 6:05 pm
Dude. Harshness on the psycho comment (Dutch, can I sue??)
Anyway, you call that frustration?!? JT pooped TWICE. Oh my God! TWICE!?! YOU POOR THING!!! Try changing SEVEN poopy diapers in one day. Yeah, try THAT!
See, I’m not psycho.
Comment by MIM — November 4, 2005 @ 8:04 pm
I’d take seven in one day over the projectile diarrhea that Clare hit me with once.
And I don’t %$#&@ swear on the blog either…only at work.
Comment by Clare's Dad — November 4, 2005 @ 9:08 pm
Seriously, each of mine poops at least twice a day EVERY day. Now that I think about it, it usually does happen in the daytime, though. You are doing a great job. Count me in the no swearing at work or on the blog category, but it all comes out at home. Husband and I are both trying to quit because I will be oh-so-embarrassed if one of mine brings it to school (my place of employment) with them. Sometimes no other word(s) will do though…
Comment by Amy — November 5, 2005 @ 6:03 am
How about if you get a Saturday or Sunday Starbucks treat? You could wake up a little early and head out. Grab a coffee (they’ve got the Gingerbread Lattes now!) & a pastry and head back home. Just some alone time for you.
Comment by Grace — November 6, 2005 @ 8:02 am
To help with snuffly babies, try a few drops of Eucalyptus Oil on a tissue and put it under the bedsheets when you pt them to bed, or tuck it in their clothes when they’re out of bed. It smells nice and really clears the ol’ nose. I’ve used it for the princesses and it really does help.
Comment by Simon — November 7, 2005 @ 1:52 pm