February 28, 2006

What I would do with $267,000,000…

Tonight’s Mega-Millions Lottery Jackpot here in California has reached unprecedented heights. $267 million dollars. That could buy a lot of diapers. When I was living in New York City, the New York State Lottery had a slogan that was plastered on just about every other advertisement placard on every subway car. It read: “All you need is a dollar and a dream.”

Well, today I just so happened to have a dollar and I’ve had plenty of time to conjure up a dream. So, here is what I will do if when I win tonight’s $267 million.

  • Purchase the Starbucks down the street and hire someone to deliver to my home whenever I want.
  • Go back to that store on Rodeo Drive and tell the girl, “Big Mistake. Huge. I have to go shopping now.” (Wait, was that me?)
  • Buy clothes. Lots of clothes. Hire a personal shopper to bring me clothes.
  • Have someone erase one of the m’s on each M&M that is brought into my house.
  • Hire a chef to cook delicious, healthy meals – ’cause I’m pretty tired of eating crap cooking all the time.
  • Hire a personal trainer (not named Andrea) to kick my ass into shape.
  • Quit work and start a foundation. It’d be nice to give out $ instead of begging for it all the time.
  • Buy every children’s book people suggested to me on my blogfather’s post.
  • Give $1000 to each person who has ever left a comment on my blog. (It’s not too late…)
  • Rebuild my Y*M*C*A. The Childsplayx2 Family Y has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
  • Build Nutmeg the cat her own room, complete with cat walks and all the baby socks she can steal.
  • Actually purchase a flat screen television, a DVR, an ipod, and any other electronic gadget that I don’t have the money to buy right now.
  • Set up a fund to help parents with preemies. Every time I read about twins and other preemie babies, I feel so fortunate that we have healthy babies.
  • Send every child in our extended families to college.
  • Purchase a minority stake in the San Francisco Giants. I’d have all the players call me “Boss.”
  • Spend as much time as I can with TheMonk and Swee’Pea. ‘Cause, damn, they’re getting bigger every day.
  • Having said that, hiring an extra person to help us out during the day. “Cause, damn, they’re getting bigger every day.
  • Never, Ever, Ever clean the house again. Pay someone handsomely to do that.
  • Replace our 1994 Nissan Altima with something a little newer. Like something built this millenium.
  • Outspend some haughty rich politician for a seat in local government.
  • Help put music programs back into local schools. Because the world needs more bad guitar players.
  • I’d…
  • What? You say the chances of winning this lottery is 1 in 175,711,536? Hmmmmm.

    So, you’re telling me there’s a chance!

    Hey, all you need is a dollar and a dream!

    Check back tomorrow when I show off my brand new duds. And don’t forget the M&M’s.

    February 27, 2006

    Two times the love

    There comes a responsibility of having two babies at once that is hard to comprehend until it happens to you. I would say the hardest thing for me is to give both TheMonk and Swee’Pea the same amount of attention. This is especially true when they are both unhappy and crying and I’m the only one around. I go to comfort one and watch as the other one looks at me holding his or her sibling and a feeling of guilt washes over me. I want to be there for both and sometimes that’s just impossible.

    This weekend our babies were sick. In the Childsplayx2 household, since I don’t have boobs and don’t have my nipples yanked and bitten on a daily basis, I have night-time duty. If the babies get up, Daddy gets up. This has gotten easier and easier as they are just about sleeping through the night. Except when they’re sick. This weekend, both had coughs and were incredibly congested. It was a rough couple of nights.

    Early Sunday I am awakened by both babies crying. I go to TheMonk first hoping to calm him down since he is usually the easier of the two to get back to sleep. I have no such luck so I go to Swee’Pea hoping for a miracle. It doesn’t happen. They both want to be comforted and I can tell both are still tired. I scoop both of them up and carry them to our chaise lounge and pull a blanket over us. Swee’Pea gets tucked into my left arm, facing out. TheMonk lies on my belly and rests his head on my chest. It’s still fairly dark out and we lie there in the warmth of the blanket.

    Before long, both are sleeping in our early morning cuddle. I glance down at their angelic faces and I am struck by how fortunate I am. For so long I wanted a little one to share my life with – and now I have two. Two little ones who love being held by their daddy, feeling safe, secure and a little bit tired. Yes, they may be a lot of work and yes, it would be easier with one. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    February 25, 2006

    Proof that my kids are cute…

    Blogging Baby has chosen TheMonk and Swee’Pea’s Valentine’s Day picture as it’s picture of the day today.

    There’s more where that came from! We just downloaded 10 more cute photos on the right, take a look.*

    *Childsplayx2.com takes no responsibility should you not be able to handle the cuteness factor while viewing pictures of TheMonk and Swee’Pea. Please consult your physician should you feel you are about to OD on cuteness.

    February 24, 2006

    Help me…

    Crying babies.

    Loud, crying babies.

    No nap.

    Angry, loud, crying babies.

    *Cough, Cough, Cough*

    Sick, angry, loud, crying babies.

    Did I mention no nap?

    Tired, sick, angry, loud, crying babies.

    help me.

    February 23, 2006

    My sick little one

    Your cry starts as a whimper. I can hear it over the baby monitor and I can sense you’re uncomfortable. I wait, however, before coming to get you. I want to see if you’ll put yourself back to sleep. The last few nights haven’t been easy for you, Swee’ Pea. You’ve been teething and nothing but a good dose of Tylenol will ease the pain. To add to your misery, it now seems you have yet another cold. You had a fever today combined with a wet cough. We have given you a dose of Tylenol already today to combat your fever but you’re still clearly uncomfortable. You are usually such a happy little girl. I adore your kicks, squeals and smiles whenever you see me. That smile lights up a room – not to mention my heart. Tonight, however, you were not your usual self and, because of that, I’m worried about you. Tomorrow we will take you to the doctor but tonight it’s just you and me.

    Your whimpers are now clearly a cry and I head to your room to comfort you. When I arrive I glance at your brother who is still sound asleep. I pick up your binky and try to give it to you. you’re not in a mood for a binky tonight and you continue to fuss so I scoop you up and cradle you in my arms. You’re getting to be such a big girl now at 8 months. It seems just a short while ago I could hold you with one hand but now both are needed to support your growing body. I embrace your little body with both arms and I can feel the heat radiate from within. I kiss your hot cheek as your little fingers grab the loose folds of my t-shirt. I hold you close, rocking you in the dark of the night with only the sounds of your brother breathing and the whirr of the humidifier disturbing the peace that surrounds us. You rest your little head on my chest and your exhausted body goes limp. I continue to rock you and I brush my lips against the top of your head. I think about my little girl feeling so worn out and I am saddened that I cannot do more for you. I want to make your pain go away. I want to make it all better because that’s what daddies are supposed to do. “I love you, Swee’ Pea” I whisper as you fall into a deeper sleep in my arms. I can feel your chest rise and fall and your whimpers become faint and infrequent. Sensing it’s time to put you back to bed, I gently place you back into your crib and watch over you as you fall into an even deeper sleep. Your face is angelic – lit up by the street light outside your window. I say a silent prayer for you and I reach down and kiss your warm forehead one more time.

    Sweet dreams my little one. Tomorrow will be a better day.

    Daddy will make sure of it.

    This post was also published on the The Blogfathers.

    February 22, 2006

    La Vida Loca

    Proof I’m losing my mind…

    1) I started the microwave to re-heat my dinner last night. When it beeped to tell me it was ready, I went to the microwave, opened the door, only to find the oven empty. I glanced down to find my still-cold food sitting on the counter.

    2) President’s day is going to be the end of me. Not only did we drop off the twins at childcare, not knowing they were closed last week, I seem to be the only person on my block who didn’t get the memo that our garbage service would still be picking up the trash on Monday – even though they have never picked up the garbage on any other holiday. Thank goodness I have a year to prepare for next President’s day.

    3) I have not been able to get the song, Horse With No Name, out of my head. MAKE IT STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE IT STOP!

    4) If my head wasn’t attached, it would be somewhere I wouldn’t think to look – like behind the dryer or on the top shelf of the fridge. For example, I currently have no pens in my office at work. I used to have dozens of them. I even bought myself a set of distinctive-looking pens so I wouldn’t lose them. Yeah, that worked real well. Yesterday, I had to ask someone on the phone to wait a second while I grabbed a pen. Then I ran to the office down the hall, grabbed a pen off of my co-worker’s desk, and ran back. I’m hopeful the caller didn’t think I was coming on to her – what with all the heavy breathing and all.

    5) Andrea and I make “kissing noises” as we walk into a room the other is in. It’s a way of greeting each other in a loving way – even if we’re just walking through. Of course, we’ve now started to do this with the babies. Kissing noises happen all around. We’ve been doing this for years and I have never given a kissing noise to anyone else – until this week. Earlier, Grandmother was the recipient (which isn’t so bad). Yesterday, someone who I supervise came into the room, we talked briefly and as she left I gave a kissing noise. (She was already out the door and I’m 99% sure she didn’t hear me – because she has a great sense of humor and would have called me on it in a second – but it was still pretty embarrassing).

    So, if this keeps up I might need professional help. A professional massage, for example, would be ideal. Wish me luck.

    *kissing noise*

    February 21, 2006

    No longer Pregnant

    Corrine at Two Pink Lines had her baby yesterday.

    Go over and congratulate her and her husband Forrest on the arrival of little baby Shepherd.

    Will she have to change her blog name now? I guess she could always get pregnant again. :)

    February 20, 2006

    Wanted: Food Taster

    Tonight we ventured into the uncharted world of broccoli. I prepared it just like I have all the other foods we have given them (plenty of steam and a blender) and we sat down in front of them to feed them the broccoli.

    It was not a good sign when Andrea says to me out of the side of her mouth, “I should taste it, but I really don’t want to.”

    “Me either.” I replied. “Too bad we can’t mix some mayonaise in there with it.”

    “Or some cheese.” Andrea added.

    The books say to make happy faces as they taste new foods. Luckily I’m pretty sure laughter counts as a happy face. As soon as Swee’Pea tasted it, the look on her face as she made eye contact was me was, “What the hell is that?!” In fact, on her second spoonful (as I smiled and made “yum-yum” sounds) she gagged. She wretched. Luckily she didn’t throw it up.

    Over on the other side, TheMonk, being one who has never turned down a meal, struggled to accept each bite. Each bite looked painful but he gamely took each spoonful while smacking his lips and furrowing his brow.

    Luckily for the twins, we took pity on them. We stopped feeding them and will try again tomorrow.

    (TheMonk and Swee’Pea, if you’re reading this in the future, it’s the last time I’m letting you up from eating your vegetables. Besides, with some mayo or cheese, you can eat anything that’s green.)

    February 19, 2006

    Growing up fast

    Grandmother is visiting this weekend. After seeing Swee’Pea’s preoccupation with Andrea’s water cup (a large blue cup with a lid and straw), Grandmother determined that Swee’Pea was ready for a sippy cup and went downstairs to get one. When she returned with the sippy cup filled with water, Andrea and I objected.

    “No! We’re not ready to give her the sippy cup.” Andrea said, reaching out for the cup.

    “Oh, okay.” Grandmother replied, handing over the cup. “But she’s ready!”

    “I don’t care if she’s ready.” I said. “We’re not. Geez, the next thing you’ll be telling me is that she’ll be ready to start dating when she’s 18!”

    February 17, 2006


    Does anyone ever use the little magnifying glass on the end of the nail clippers?

    Why can the babies sleep through a smoke alarm after daddy almosts burns dinner a little smoke steam triggers the alarm but wake up whenever the cat meows?

    How can squash and sweet potato look as orange coming out as it did coming in?

    Just wondering.

    Next Page »

    Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

    Join other followers: