Your cry starts as a whimper. I can hear it over the baby monitor and I can sense you’re uncomfortable. I wait, however, before coming to get you. I want to see if you’ll put yourself back to sleep. The last few nights haven’t been easy for you, Swee’ Pea. You’ve been teething and nothing but a good dose of Tylenol will ease the pain. To add to your misery, it now seems you have yet another cold. You had a fever today combined with a wet cough. We have given you a dose of Tylenol already today to combat your fever but you’re still clearly uncomfortable. You are usually such a happy little girl. I adore your kicks, squeals and smiles whenever you see me. That smile lights up a room – not to mention my heart. Tonight, however, you were not your usual self and, because of that, I’m worried about you. Tomorrow we will take you to the doctor but tonight it’s just you and me.
Your whimpers are now clearly a cry and I head to your room to comfort you. When I arrive I glance at your brother who is still sound asleep. I pick up your binky and try to give it to you. you’re not in a mood for a binky tonight and you continue to fuss so I scoop you up and cradle you in my arms. You’re getting to be such a big girl now at 8 months. It seems just a short while ago I could hold you with one hand but now both are needed to support your growing body. I embrace your little body with both arms and I can feel the heat radiate from within. I kiss your hot cheek as your little fingers grab the loose folds of my t-shirt. I hold you close, rocking you in the dark of the night with only the sounds of your brother breathing and the whirr of the humidifier disturbing the peace that surrounds us. You rest your little head on my chest and your exhausted body goes limp. I continue to rock you and I brush my lips against the top of your head. I think about my little girl feeling so worn out and I am saddened that I cannot do more for you. I want to make your pain go away. I want to make it all better because that’s what daddies are supposed to do. “I love you, Swee’ Pea” I whisper as you fall into a deeper sleep in my arms. I can feel your chest rise and fall and your whimpers become faint and infrequent. Sensing it’s time to put you back to bed, I gently place you back into your crib and watch over you as you fall into an even deeper sleep. Your face is angelic – lit up by the street light outside your window. I say a silent prayer for you and I reach down and kiss your warm forehead one more time.
Sweet dreams my little one. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Daddy will make sure of it.
This post was also published on the The Blogfathers.
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