Changes
I resigned from my job today. I signed a piece of paper through tear-blurred eyes that said I no longer wanted to be the Executive Director at my Y.
It was a tough moment in a series of tough moments these past six months. So many thoughts swirled through my head while my hand scribbled the words, “Effective today…” I thought of my kids and my ex-wife and how they depended on me to be there for them. I thought of all the joy my job has brought me and how much I loved what I do. I thought of how much I loved building that Y and giving the community something special. But it is time to move on.
And as I say the things I need to say to myself to keep going, things like, “when one door closes, another opens” or “the best is yet to come,” I feel better but it just barely masks the feeling that I don’t know if I’ve ever felt in my lifetime… failure.
The kids cried tonight when I told them I was leaving the Y. They cried for the camp counselors they love and what the Y has meant to them over the years. I cried too. I told them that it’s okay to be sad but that things will be okay.
And they will be. Fortunately, I have some time to figure things out. The uncertainty that lies ahead is certainly scary and daunting but I look forward to new challenges and a new opportunity to be the leader I want to be. Sometimes, a fresh start is what’s needed.
And I will hold my head high and be the role model my kids need me to be. They need to see that in challenging times, good things happen. I am determined to show them that this is true.
But it does seem I’ll have to enroll them in camp in the spring. Good thing the Y gives financial assistance.
10 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post.
Leave a comment
Also working in nonprofits, I know how much our jobs become a part of us. This wasn’t easy for you I’m sure, but I have no doubt you’ll come out on top. The good guys always do.
Comment by Darren — January 17, 2013 @ 9:55 pm
(((Hugs)))
Comment by V — January 17, 2013 @ 10:05 pm
That’s a tough decision, but I’m excited for you.
Comment by Maura — January 17, 2013 @ 11:54 pm
Matt — I’m sorry to hear this. As a fellow community center-focused professional I can deeply empathize will everything you must be feeling. I believe your positive attitude and impeccable character will carry you and your family through this. We’ll all be rooting for you.
Comment by Josh — January 18, 2013 @ 9:28 am
I’m sorry to hear this. Will be thinking of you.
Comment by Deanna — January 18, 2013 @ 10:32 am
BIG hugs.. I think it’s good to get everything done at once.. (I had divorce and mom dying and dad moving to a nursing home).. So divorce and a job change.. why not? You only live once.. follow that dream. You are NOT NOT NOT a failure.. even if it feels that way.
Comment by MP — January 18, 2013 @ 10:40 am
Ironically, the vet hospital where I work part-time is hiring! You would be just as qualified for it as I am! (IE: notatall). My job is to entertain the staff and the clients who are waiting. I try to pretend that my “people skills” are being exercised but honestly, no writer should be forced to talk to strangers about their dogs’ anal glands. (The temptation to write a book about them is just too great…)
So, send me your résumé! It’s a helluva commute to NC, but you’d love it!
Comment by Amo — January 18, 2013 @ 12:52 pm
HI Matthew – prayers and peace to you! You will be missed greatly by all of us who so love your passion for life!
Comment by Sue — January 18, 2013 @ 5:39 pm
You are NOT a failure! You live your life with such honest. Keep moving towards what your heart truly is drawn to. It was all work out. {{{Hugs}}}
Comment by Grace — January 18, 2013 @ 9:12 pm
Of all the things I’ve read here over the years, this is the most unexpected. Wishing you peace in your decision and an even more rewarding and fulfilling future.
You know I love you. xo
Comment by Debra — January 19, 2013 @ 10:59 am