January 23, 2012

Hats off to you, my son

You asked me for a hat to keep your head warm. It seemed a silly request considering that we live in warm, sunny San Diego but it’s been cold in the mornings lately (low 40′s!) and your little ears and head were feeling the brunt of the cold on our morning walks to the bus stop.

On my lunch break the other day, I stopped off at the local store and picked you and your sister up a knit hat for a whopping $4.01. Bargain. I was excited to bring it to you and you were equally excited to receive it. The first night, you slept with it on your cute little head and it was evident you were excited to wear your hat to school.

As I returned home from work after your first day at school with your new hat, I was eager to find out how the day had went. It was then that I received some news that made me hurt for you.

You tell me, “Some girls in my class made fun of my hat today, Daddy.”

I can see the sadness in your face and that you are struggling with the conflict between the love of your hat and the acceptance of your peers. I give you a hug and as I pull away I ask you if this made you sad. You nod yes with solemn eyes and I pull you close again, searching for a way to take away the hurt.

As I hold you in an embrace, I whisper into your ear, “Buddy, the important thing is that you love the hat. These girls are being mean and if you don’t wear this hat tomorrow to school, you are letting these girls – these haters – you are letting them win. It doesn’t matter what they think, buddy. We don’t make decisions based on what others think, okay?”

You pull away again and you nod. I’m not sure my talk has sunk in but we leave it be for the rest of the night. As I walk you to the bus the next morning, you carry the hat in your hand and I’m still unsure what you will do. As the bus comes, I lean down to give you a longer hug than usual and I whisper in your ear, “Don’t let the haters win.”

With that, you smile and turn to board the bus. As you walk on and find your seat I can see you sitting with your sister and your best friend. And as the bus pulls away I notice something that makes me smile.

You’re wearing the hat.

New Hats


  1. I think I’ll send him a new hat.

    Comment by Grandmother — January 23, 2012 @ 11:46 pm

  2. I was bracing myself for a really strange hat, to inspire that kind of meanness. But that’s a really freaking normal hat.
    Kids are mean. :(

    Comment by thepsychobabble — January 24, 2012 @ 4:59 am

  3. This made me hurt for you, and your boy. Kids can be so mean, and it’s awful when it’s directed at your child. My daughter has been on the receiving end a few times and oh, it’s awful. So awful. Good for you, and good for The Monk – it is a fabulous hat – I love it and would wear it myself.

    Don’t let the haters win!

    Comment by Val — January 24, 2012 @ 6:15 am

  4. We have hat haters too. My son won’t wear his normal hat to school anymore and it makes me sad. He is keeping it to wear at home.

    Of course, there is snow on the ground here and the hat they were making fun of cost $40… but I feel his pain. And yours.

    Comment by Sarah — January 24, 2012 @ 6:41 am

  5. That is an awesome hat and theMonk looks so cool in it! So proud that he didn’t let the haters win!

    Comment by Aunt Raina — January 24, 2012 @ 7:47 am

  6. Godo for you, and better for him. It’s a good thing to learn early on, that’s for sure! I agree with the other commenters, that is a cool hat. He should look at the REALLY bizarre ones out here in cold-country! :)

    Comment by RobMonroe — January 24, 2012 @ 8:47 am

  7. Thank you for reminding me: don’t let the haters win. Also that we don’t make decisions based on what other people think,

    The hat really is a fine-looking hat. You did an awesome job helping him to continue wearing it!

    Comment by Aina — January 25, 2012 @ 10:17 am

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.


Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

Join other followers: