November 4, 2010

I gotta work on my delivery

We are getting ready for bed and TheMonk is putting on his Red, White and Blue striped Jammies while singing a new ditty that, I assume, he picked up at school: “Row, Row, Row your boat gently down the stream… Ha, Ha, fooled ya, I’m a submarine!”

The only problem with this scenario is that TheMonk is seriously lacking in the multi-tasking department. Halfway through the song, there is one leg in his jammies and one leg out. The top is halfway on his head and the shirt drapes down his back like long flowing hair.

After a third round of “Row Your Boat,” I redirect him to continue getting dressed for bed. “Monkey, please get dressed. It’s time to focus, buddy. C’mon now.” And with that, TheMonk turns to me and asks, “Daddy, how does a baby get in a mommy’s tummy?”

Wha? Huh? Weren’t we just singing about submarines? Anyway, a million possible answers race through my mind, ranging from Aliens to Magic and I struggled to begin – “Uh, you see, Son, when a man and a woman love each other… They, uh, hmmmm, they, uh, hug and, uh, love each other…” Finally, I look my son in the eye to see what he’s thinking and he interrupts me… “I thought God put it there.”

“YES! God!” I laugh with a sense of relief as I quickly help the boy finish getting dressed. Now, let’s go brush those teeth.

Bullet dodged, I breath a sigh of relief but in the back of my mind I know the question will be asked again soon. I should probably practice this or something.


  1. Ha! My daughter (age 5) just asked my husband that same thing the other day.

    Comment by Kate — November 4, 2010 @ 11:11 pm

  2. I got asked this last night! But my son is 8, so I had to come up with something more specific.

    “Mommies and daddies do something VERY, VERY PRIVATE, to make the baby.”

    Comment by L. — November 5, 2010 @ 5:35 am

  3. For what it’s worth, we’ve always talked about men’s “half-babies” (sperm) and women’s “half-babies” (eggs) needing to “get together” in the woman’s body to make a whole baby. It’s worked pretty well, and around the time our twins turned nine, we gave each one the “Talk”, using technical words and providing more details. So far, so good!

    Comment by Aina — November 6, 2010 @ 8:28 pm

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