November 5, 2009

Way less than 6 degrees of separation

The year was 1993 and it was a beautiful spring day in New York City. Cherry trees were in blossom, snow was long gone, and the melodic sounds of birds chirping mixed nicely with the bellowing horns of cabs and the occasional “Fuck You AND your mother!” emanating from the bustling streets of the City.

On this particular day, a Sunday, yours truly and his family are celebrating an amazing milestone. My graduation from college. At a couple of different times in my four years at Columbia, I feared I wouldn’t finish. But there I was, diploma in hand, with a very proud mother who wanted to treat me to a celebratory dinner.

We decided to eat at the famed Tavern on the Green, located on the Upper West Side of Central Park and a short walk from Strawberry Fields, the memorial to John Lennon. On this day, we have come to dine and my mother would spare no expense. In fact the food was so good that I don’t remember one thing that I ate that day. But I do remember I had to pee.

So I went to find the men’s room. It wasn’t hard to find but I remember that it wasn’t particularly large. There were two urinals against the wall and there was already someone using the one furthest from the door. I sauntered up to the other urinal and proceeded with my business – being careful to follow the Man Rules of looking straight ahead at the wall in front of me. No glances anywhere to my left would be acceptable and I followed the rules to a tee. After I was done, I zipped and headed to the sinks where the other guy was already situated. We both washed our hands in silence. As I glanced up at the mirror my sink partner’s sandy brown hair hung loosely across his face. As we finished up, he stood up taller as we reached for the towels on the counter. It was then we made eye contact for the first time.

“Hi.” He said softly, accompanied by a slight nod of his head.

“Hey.” I said back, nodding my head in reply.

We both threw our towels in the trash and I reached the door first. I held it open and he thanked me as he passed by. He turned right to return to his table and I turned left to return to mine, never our paths to cross again.

And that, my friends, is how I met Kevin Bacon.


  1. Awesomeness. See? You get to have all the fun because you can pee standing up.

    Comment by Kate — November 6, 2009 @ 1:08 am

  2. So I am only two degrees away.

    This is a much easier game now that I know you and Kevin Bacon peed together.

    Comment by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — November 6, 2009 @ 7:01 am

  3. More importantly, that makes you only two degrees from Kyra Sedgwick. And I just realized that not only did we both go to Columbia, but we graduated on the same day. I was the guy in the dark sunglasses standing with the School of the Arts.

    Comment by Darren — November 6, 2009 @ 7:15 am

  4. So this means I’m two degrees away from Kevin Bacon? Cool! That just made my whole day.

    Comment by Chicky Chicky Baby — November 6, 2009 @ 11:52 am

  5. HAHHA.. awesome.

    and my word is RHINOS. is it always rhinos?! lol

    Comment by jennster — November 6, 2009 @ 2:05 pm

  6. How come I’ve never heard this story before?

    Comment by Aunt Raina — November 6, 2009 @ 7:48 pm

  7. Does it count as “meeting” someone if your penises (peni?) are in close contact, but you never shake hands or exchange names? These are serious questions I’m left to ponder as a result of your post. Hmmm??

    Comment by Twenty Four At Heart — November 7, 2009 @ 10:36 pm

  8. Ah, I remember it well!

    Comment by Grandmother — November 7, 2009 @ 11:37 pm

  9. that is pretty awesome.

    Comment by mel — November 9, 2009 @ 11:41 am

  10. *grin*

    Fun. ;D

    Comment by Al_Pal — January 17, 2010 @ 9:58 pm

  11. If you are going to meet a celebrity that is the best way to do it. That is classic!

    Comment by Red Lotus Mama — January 17, 2010 @ 11:25 pm

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