August 25, 2009

I know you.

I have always known you.

From the day you were born, when I first held you in my arms, I knew you. I knew the boy who fussed at night and who insisted on eating every morning at 4:00 a.m. I knew the boy who loved his binky and would laugh at a moments notice. And I knew the boy that hardly talked until overnight, it seemed, we couldn’t get you to shut up. I knew you then.

I knew you when you would seek out my approval and need my reassurance before trying new things. I knew you when you took your first uncertain steps into my waiting arms. I knew you when a kiss from Daddy made every boo-boo go away. I knew you then.

But now? As time has precipitated change at a staggering rate, I am left to wonder, how much do I know you? Am I able to keep up this knowledge of who you are as time goes by so fast I grasp at memories and try desperately to hold onto them as they slip through my fingers like a fine beach sand. I wonder if I know you because suddenly, it seems, you are not the little boy I once knew.

You are no longer the boy who once needed my help for everything. No, you are the boy who hops on his scooter and rides it fast and fearless. You are the boy who breaks out into song and dance whenever the moment strikes. You are the boy who tells me your favorite “Knock Knock” joke as if it’s the first time I’ve ever heard it. You are the boy who shares with his sister and gives kisses and nose rubs at night.

And when I think of all this, I realize that, yes… I do know you. How could I doubt how much I know you? I know you like I know the lines on my own face. Even with the changes, I know you. I know you because you are… a part of me. And as I watch you grow into a little boy who loves life, I feel a sense of pride that I am helping you grow into a wonderful little boy. And I’m so happy that I know you.

You are a boy whose confidence grows by leaps and bounds every day. You have transformed from the boy who would tell me “I can’t…” to the boy who now looks at me with all sorts of seriousness in your eyes and tells me, “Daddy, I can do anything.”

Yes, Son, you can. You can do anything.

And even then, I’ll know you.


  1. Lovely. :-)

    Comment by Maura — August 25, 2009 @ 11:02 pm

  2. Beautifully said.
    And, it is no small thing to turn “I can’t” into “I can”. Lucky him. Lucky you.
    Well done.

    Comment by EarnestGirl — August 25, 2009 @ 11:12 pm

  3. Ahh. Thats an awesome post. I have those moments, more and more often, exciting watching them become their own people!

    Comment by FeistyKel — August 25, 2009 @ 11:24 pm

  4. very nice. :)

    Comment by pgoodness — August 26, 2009 @ 5:05 am

  5. I was describing TheMonk to our friend Glenda and mind you she has not had the pleasure and the first words out of her mouth were; “He sounds just like Benjamin.” Then I added that the resemblance is uncanny, too and she laughed “Benjamin must love that” and we know he does.

    Comment by Grandmother — August 26, 2009 @ 10:19 am

  6. It just happens too quickly.

    Comment by Deanna — August 26, 2009 @ 10:25 am

  7. Grandmother, can the world take another Benjamin? I don’t know about the world but I sure can! Bring it on!

    Comment by Aunt Raina — August 26, 2009 @ 5:03 pm

  8. That post should have had a tissue warning! Excellent.

    Comment by Kila — August 26, 2009 @ 8:01 pm

  9. i love this. and find it so very weird because i was writing up a post on the boys and the knowing of them, the fact that i have known them both before.

    Comment by mamie — August 26, 2009 @ 9:21 pm

  10. You should print that and put it on his wall. His heart will feel the love that you have for him ITs a blessing and there arne’t as many dads out there so dedicated. Pat your self on the back dad, Your part of the few the proud, worthy to be called “Daddy”

    Comment by Night Owl Mama — August 31, 2009 @ 10:21 am

  11. There is no greater feeling in the world than being known.

    Comment by Miss Britt — September 3, 2009 @ 12:35 pm

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