&@$%ing London Bridge
My new car has one toy that may be the single reason I bought this particular car. It has the Sync system where I plug in my iPod and then can play songs on it using the voice recognition part of the sync system. “Play Artist Tiffany” I might say and… well, it wouldn’t actually play Tiffany because I’m not a 14 year old girl and this isn’t 1987, but I could tell it to play any artist in my iPod and it will play it. Pretty cool.
Swee’Pea and TheMonk have begun to appreciate this feature as well. Often times when we get in the car, TheMonk, especially, asks to hear his favorite song. I’ll announce, “Play artist Daniel Powter” and the song “Bad Day” will suddenly start playing. Usually, we are only driving a short distance and don’t have much time to listen to more than one song. The other day, however, we were on a bit of a longer drive so after TheMonk’s song ended, I decided to request Swee’Pea’s favorite song, Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry. “Play Artist Fergie” I said and, sure enough, the familiar refrains began to play… “Da, Da, Da, Daaaaa…” I soon lose track of the song as I think about what I’m going to have for lunch focus on driving.
But something soon jolts me back to reality. Something loud and quite clear. You see, I had not thought about the fact that I have two Fergie songs on my iPod. The first, as you know, is Big Girls Don’t Cry and is a fine song. The second song is a little song called London Bridge. London Bridge is also a fine song. If you want to teach your children to talk like drunken sailors. I am reminded of this small fact as all I can hear blaring from the speakers is “OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!” Now I’m sure there are other words to the song but at that moment in time, cruising down the highway at 64.5 mph, all I can hear is one of the biggest four-letter words there is. And I can’t get the Sync lady to change the song fast enough.
I finally reach over and turn down the stereo all way down. Silence surrounds us and I glance in my rear-view mirror to see if Swee’Pea and TheMonk were paying attention. Perhaps they weren’t paying attention. Perhaps they were thinking about what they were going to have for lunch and totally missed it. Perhaps they are so oblivious to bad words that it hasn’t even registered what they, in fact, heard.
Seconds passed by and I began to relax. They hadn’t heard. Everything was right in the world and my innocent children would remain pure for another day. I relaxed back into my chair and reached to turn up the radio. And then I heard a noise from the back seat.
TheMonk: “Oh, Shit!”
Swee’Pea: “Oh, Shit!”
Me: “Oh, shit.”
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Uh-oh. Just wait until Grandmother reads THIS one. You’re busted.
Comment by Deanna — April 4, 2009 @ 12:13 am
Isn’t hilarious now.. But will be soon enough!
Cheers! from Singapore.
Comment by rawdah — April 4, 2009 @ 4:09 am
Hahahaha. Wait til they go to daycare and teach it to their friends!
Comment by Amy — April 4, 2009 @ 7:19 am
Oh no! Did they “sing” it though?
Comment by Grace — April 4, 2009 @ 8:51 am
Funny. But then again, not funny. Hopefully it will pass soon enough.
Comment by James — April 4, 2009 @ 7:52 pm
Hilarious! Thanks for sharing!
Comment by Maggie — April 6, 2009 @ 7:30 am
MY OWN SISTER put that song on Emily’s ipod. she better pray she never has children of her own.
so, obviously i feel your pain!
Comment by ali — April 6, 2009 @ 9:57 am
hysterical!
Comment by Cynthia — April 6, 2009 @ 5:05 pm
oh SHIT!!!
Comment by Anissa@Hope4Peyton — April 6, 2009 @ 10:15 pm
Better from a song, than from you?
My (almost)3YO walked around the house for a full day saying that (in an appropriate manner) after I stubbed my toe particularly badly that morning. Daddy came home w/”What’s she saying?” “What do you think she’s saying? Ignore it, maybe it will go away.” And it did.
I have quite a few of the “adult” versions of songs on my ipod. I figured I’d rather have them hear the words and ask me about it than make it into a bigger deal by masking the version. Course I have an (almost) 6YO too.
Just wait, they’ll be teaching you new words soon.
Comment by mama speak — April 6, 2009 @ 11:50 pm
This is hilarious!!!
Until it happens at a grandparent’s house, I suppose lol.
Comment by Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com — April 7, 2009 @ 3:43 pm
Oh shit, that’s funny. You know, for me. Not so much for you, I’m thinking.
Comment by Papa Bradstein — April 8, 2009 @ 9:02 pm
I usually play music at dinner. When certain songs with questionable lyrics come on I pass over them The kids question why and I just tell them I don’t want to hear that song. Sooner or later I’m going to miss one.
Comment by above average joe — April 9, 2009 @ 9:10 am
Oh crap! Argh! Something like this happens to us all sooner or later.
Did you manage to convince them that it’s a bad word that makes a toy magically disappear each time they say it?
Comment by Kila — April 9, 2009 @ 11:05 am
Oh my God dude. You TOTALLY play Tiffany. Why even lie to your readers?
*shaking my head*
I think we’re alone now…
Comment by Karen Sugarpants — April 9, 2009 @ 8:37 pm
we keep the oh snap version cause if my kid is gonna learn to curse its gonna be from me!
Oh shit by the way was my four years first complete sentence at 10 months.
just sayin…
Comment by Raquita — April 13, 2009 @ 1:26 pm