Over the past several months, as I have written about before, TheMonk has been making it harder and harder for me to kiss him on his cheek.
This has caused great emotional distress to this here father as I have been kissing those cheeks on a daily basis for the last 3 years and almost-five-months. In a sign of desperation, I have tried many methods to get at those cheeks. I have pretended to go for one cheek and while he buries that cheek into his shoulder, he leaves the other cheek exposed and my lightning-fast pucker plants a big kiss. I have also resorted to telling TheMonk that I have a secret to tell him. As I lean in to “whisper in his ear” I change course and plant tons of kisses on his chubby little cheek. I’m not proud that I lie to my son to get at that cheek. I’m an addict and us cheek addicts will stop at nothing to get my daily fix. (“Hi, my name is Matthew and I’m a cheek-aholic.”)
But now TheMonk is going to drastic measures to show me how much he dislikes my kisses. Rather than just the ordinary wiping of the cheek that I have been subjected to in the past, this week, after planting another kiss onto his cheek, TheMonk laid down on the carpet and began rubbing the cheek I had just kissed onto the carpet while saying, “Yuck.”
*Sigh* Perhaps I should just plan my kisses with a little less slobber.
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