November 16, 2008

Reason #2302 parenting gives you gray hair: Traveling with children

Pre-Flight

TheMonk, seeing an obese woman in the airport, shouts in awe, “Look Daddy, that woman is big!

TheMonk, seeing an elderly gentleman getting wheeled down the airport hallway in a wheelchair, announces, “Look Daddy, that man can’t walk!”

After getting on the airplane…

“Are we flying yet?… Daddy, are we flying yet?… Are we flying yet?… Are we flying now?… Daddy, when are we gonna fly?… After the ladies talk about safety?… Where are the ladies?… Are we flying now?… When are the ladies gonna talk?… Are we next, Daddy?… Are we gonna fly now, Daddy?… Are we flying yet?…”

“I want waaaa-terrrrr. I’m thirsty. I want waaaaa-terrrrr. I want waaaaa-terrrrrrrrrr, Daddy. I’m thirsty. I want waaaaaaa-terrrrrrrrrrr.” [Told he has to wait for the beverage cart to come] “But I want it nowwwwwwwwwwwwww. I want waaaaaaa-terrrrrrrrrr. I’m thirrrrrrrrrrsty.”

“I want to sit with Daddy. No, I want to sit with Daddy. No, I want to sit with Daddy. No, I want to sit with Daddy.” [Daddy really wanted them to sit with Mommy at this point.]

****************************

This is just a small taste of what we encountered on our two plane, four hour jaunt home last night. On top of the whining, we also had two trips each to the bathroom, including being squished inside a 2 foot by 2 foot box with a pooping toddler. Wiping took some acrobatics I didn’t know I had.

The kids were tired from a long week at Grandma and Grandpa’s and we erred by thinking they’d sleep on a later flight. No, they just took out their tiredness on the entire cabin. No amount of sticker books, magna doodles or vanilla wafers were enough to calm the beasts within. If you were on our plane or directly underneath our Denver to So Cal route (for I’m sure you heard us from a measly 35,000 feet), then I apologize profusely.

Although if that lady in front of us had turned around to look at me wrestling with cranky, crying toddlers one more time, I would be writing this from jail.

And I only briefly considered jumping from the plane but decided against it when I realized I’d hear them screaming all they way down.

Anyway, after sleeping in today, a three hour nap and some serious painkillers (for me, not the kids), Swee’Pea and TheMonk are almost back to normal.

I, on the other hand, will need a bit more alcohol time.

On an airplane
Being angelic on the trip out to see grandparents.
The return trip on the other hand…

12 Comments

  1. As I bow to the computer screen, may I just say that you’re my hero! Seriously, twin 3 year olds on a two plane flight?! DrillSgt. is working really hard to convince me to take a trip somewhere w/ Da’Gorgeouses—only trip I’m taking is to the looney bin if he gets his way!

    Hugs & Blessings!

    Comment by MamaChanga — November 17, 2008 @ 12:15 am

  2. Oh, traveling with young children! I guess we all have our battle scars! The worst for me was when I traveled alone with our then 2 and 4 year old girls. My 2 year old spilled an entire apple juice all over herself, the seat, the floor and me just 10 minutes into the first flight. Still, I was all, “We’re not changing into your spare set of clothes! What if something worse happens?????” I swear apple juice smells like beer after 6 hours. Gag.

    Comment by Lynnie — November 17, 2008 @ 3:03 am

  3. I wonder what the turn around and stare down was supposed to accomplish from the woman in front of you. Is it just to show her disgust, to make sure you know she is annoyed? Whenever I am on a plane with screamers I just always feel sorry for the parent and try and block it out. It’s awful to see the look on the parents face, they just now they’re f-ed and dig in for the long haul. you are a very patient and tolerant man.

    Comment by Ryan — November 17, 2008 @ 8:19 am

  4. traveling with my kids is the bane of my existence. i feel your pain ;)

    Comment by ali — November 17, 2008 @ 8:34 am

  5. Thank you for your timely post. We are driving from Chicago to Florida next week. I was starting to think that it might be easier just to fly…except for the price, hauling all the kid stuff, the price, and the having to rent a car once we’re there anyway. I had completely forgotten the misery of the actual flight & airport. At least in the minivan, they can’t kick my seat and I can definitely tune them out. (Sorry to all the residents between here & there. We’ll try to pass by your houses as quickly as possible.)

    Comment by Jess — November 17, 2008 @ 8:45 am

  6. Traveling with my kids didn’t give me gray hair. It caused hair loss. I just pulled out chunks at a time as the aggravation built.

    Comment by Deanna — November 17, 2008 @ 8:57 am

  7. Remember this is the best time of your life and unfortunately, this too will pass. Glad you made it back, if a bit wackier

    Comment by Grandmother — November 17, 2008 @ 12:09 pm

  8. It’s always the worst on the way home. I find it funny that people get so grouchy about toddlers on planes. Have they never had to deal with a cranky toddler?

    My theory is flying is better than two very long days in the car. So everyone else can bite it. :)

    Comment by Issa — November 17, 2008 @ 3:13 pm

  9. I like Grandmother! (Thanks for reminding me – mom of 7 yr old twins – too!)

    Comment by Aina — November 17, 2008 @ 9:35 pm

  10. Ahhhh…Grandmother and Grammy speak the same language. I keep getting the “they’re only babies once” which I know is so true but doesn’t make it any easier right then and there.

    Hugs & Blessings!

    Comment by MamaChanga — November 18, 2008 @ 1:42 am

  11. I have not yet worked up the nerve to fly with mine. I hate flying MYSELF and am a nervous passenger, so to add my two 3.5 year olds to that? Just seems insane. I’m going to NC this summer to visit my BF, and I’m already convinced I’m just going to make the 11 hour drive with them. I’m THAT scared.

    Comment by Amy — November 19, 2008 @ 5:44 pm

  12. Matthew,

    I am groaning over this post because it will be ME in a few months. I’ve put off traveling back East with my kids for a whole year but now I can’t avoid it. Bought the tix and everything. UGH. UGH!!!

    Comment by KTP — November 24, 2008 @ 1:08 pm

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