This weekend, the lovely wife and I decided that our kids had been walled up in their cribs long enough.
I’m not sure why we thought this. I mean, in the last 3.4 years they have made zero attempts to flee their pens. I surmise the reason for this is because they have each other and really have no incentive to make a break for it each morning. Or maybe they just like being locked up.
At any rate, I’m not sure why we were so intent on opening the floodgates to freedom. I don’t even think heavy drinking was involved.
Yet there I was on Saturday morning, digging through our guest closet for all the parts we’d need to convert our cribs to big boy and big girl beds. Once the kids figured out what I was doing, they were beyond excited. TheMonk insisted on helping me but I think he was more of a supervisory figure than an actual worker. He even managed to lose a screw in the process. But I love him anyway. I think I’ll keep him. (Although he’s not getting a raise anytime soon.)
Soon enough I had converted the beds and we called the kids in. When they saw the beds they were a tad excited. I think the technical terms is “went ape sh*t.” They started screaming “I got a big girl bed! I got a big boy bed!” and they immediately began to jump on the beds.
This is when we let the air out of their balloons. We established some rules. As parents it is our job to make even the most exciting moments have rules. I’m sure one day the twins will get used to it.
We sat the kids down and explained that they were a “big boy” and a “big girl” now and big boys and big girls don’t get up from their beds when they take naps or go to sleep at night. Big boys and big girls also don’t jump on the beds (we recounted the horrific outcome that befell those 10 little monkeys that, I’m sure, included lots of shots, splints and casts, once they reached the doctor’s office). We made sure these rules were the most solemn of rules and that breaking them would bring on the worst of consequences – namely they would no longer be a “big boy” and a “big girl.”
It worked like a charm.
It’s been three days of naps and bed times and they have yet to leave their beds. They tell us each morning or upon awakening from their naps that they “didn’t get out of bed” and we all do a happy dance and celebrate the fact the kids were still “big.”
This is gonna last, right? Right?
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