September 9, 2008

Almost… but not quite.

You spend almost your entire first three years of parenting doing everything for your kids. You feed them, change them, wipe their noses, wipe their butts, mix their drinks… It’s frickin’ hard work!

But then, one day, you wake up and realize that you have little… indentured servants. I found this out quite by accident the other day when I realized Swee’Pea was closer to the light switches in our kitchen and I asked her to flip them off as we were leaving. “Sure!” she exclaimed and proceeded to turn off all the lights.

After this revelation I have begun to give them larger tasks with varying results. They can, for example, find their shoes in the morning. If they are left out in the middle of the floor. With nothing around them. And a large neon sign with arrows flashing. Otherwise, it’s still Daddy hunting for shoes behind the toilet, under the coffee table and in the pantry resting comfortably next to the containers of rice milk.

I thought I’d hit on the greatest use of little kid power when I thought they might be able to retrieve a bottle of wine soda from the fridge for me. Unfortunately this hit a slight snag when they proved unable to open the heavy door.

Just today I sent them upstairs to get a couch cushion cover that had been laundered due to an unfortunate potty accident this past weekend. I thought we were on the same page. I pointed to the large cushion that was sans cover. I explained where it was upstairs. They nodded. They were eager. They ran upstairs and came down with… a fitted sheet for their crib. *sigh*

Okay, so maybe I have to wait just a little bit longer to make them do my bidding. But oh the day will come. I wonder how they’ll do rubbing my feet.

21 Comments

  1. I wonder how they’ll do rubbing my feet.

    It depends on the scent of the foot lotion you give them. Ane loves rubbing my feet with the Satsuma Body Butter from The Body Shop. That stuff smells yummy! Get something that the kids like to smell and you’ll never want for a foot massage again.

    Comment by Deanna — September 9, 2008 @ 11:13 pm

  2. I’ve been making Da’Gorgeouses go get things and do stuff for a few months now, for the most part it works AFTER I’ve repeated myself about 900 times! LOL!! Of course, I only ask them for something if I know where it is (which isn’t very often). For some reason (maybe ’cause they’re 2) they’re always getting distracted and sidetracked (or maybe ’cause they’re the perfect genetic combination of DrillSgt. and I).

    Hmmm…I hadn’t thought about foot massages.

    Hugs & Blessings!

    Comment by MamáChanga — September 9, 2008 @ 11:45 pm

  3. I send my kids to work down the mines. I do give them flashlights though, I’m not completely heartless.

    Comment by Dan — September 10, 2008 @ 2:33 am

  4. Last night while we were playing on the floor, I pretended to fall asleep. My daughter came over and started to scratch my head like I do for her when she’s trying to fall asleep. The only thing is, she wasn’t doing it in the typical overly-aggressive preschooler fashion: she was gentle, and it was actually kind of relaxing.

    As for the fridge door, I’m considering implementing a compressed air powered opener that would pop it open at the press of a button. The only problem is that then she’d just press and hold the button to hear the air “pfft” out.

    Comment by SciFi Dad — September 10, 2008 @ 4:39 am

  5. I can’t wait until mine are old enough to do the yardwork.

    Maybe next summer…

    Comment by Ed (zoesdad) — September 10, 2008 @ 5:16 am

  6. When I was a kid I used to yell at my parents all the time, “you only had kids so that we’d clean your house!” as I was sent to do the dinner dishes. Yeah, I was a brat. So now it’s my turn to have kids to do my housework! Having twins only made it that much easier to achieve my goal! ;)

    Comment by Dawn — September 10, 2008 @ 6:06 am

  7. There is a beautiful moment when you realize you get 10 more minutes of sleep in the morning because all your kids can dress themselves and pour their own cereal!!!

    Comment by Anissa@Hope4Peyton — September 10, 2008 @ 6:09 am

  8. Once they’ve mastered really simple tasks? Oh! It’s MUCH easier. And the soda thing? My husband often gets my daughter to get him a glass of water with ice when he’s working in the office or outside. Yeah…she’s his personal water girl.

    Comment by Grace — September 10, 2008 @ 7:17 am

  9. So their little fingers might be good because they are pointy and you could assign one to each foor BUT their hands are probably lacking strength so it might be a little disappointing. I would get them started on finger and hand exercises ASAP if I were you!

    Comment by Loving Danger — September 10, 2008 @ 8:12 am

  10. Cleaning, start on the cleaning…it’s why people have kids, I’m convinced.

    We started ours on putting cups and forks on the the table for dinner at 3 and then eventually putting their plates in the sink. Hell Matthew, Maya’s almost seven and last month her daddy taught her to clean a bathroom. She hated it, but she can do it. She loves to clean though…she just isn’t strong enough to vacuum.

    But wiping things with Lysol wipes and picking up toys, all things that a three year old can do and will do happily. Start small and make it a game and they’ll do your bidding before you know it.

    Comment by Issa — September 10, 2008 @ 9:14 am

  11. With 2 at different ages, the tasks are easily divided. The Champ helps me out by retrieving tools from my tool box while Peanut helps set the table at dinner.

    Until they can open a bottle of wine I’ll stick to having them fetch me a beer.

    Comment by Above Average Joe — September 10, 2008 @ 9:29 am

  12. That is funny. We get to do that with ours. The 3yo can do the light switch and with A LOT of effort can open the refrigerator. I know it won’t be too much longer when they will both be doing so much!

    Comment by Stephanie — September 10, 2008 @ 11:12 am

  13. hehe and you have TWO, one for each foot!

    Comment by MissB — September 10, 2008 @ 1:06 pm

  14. My nephews are good at getting beers for us at the beach. Perhaps my little one can serve as my ball girl on the tennis court so my old ass legs can be saved.

    Comment by DC Urban Dad — September 10, 2008 @ 1:08 pm

  15. OMG, that is my favorite part about kids. Go get that, go get this. Go TIVO ‘flip that house’ for daddy.

    Comment by Hygiene Dad — September 10, 2008 @ 6:30 pm

  16. Somebody call CPS! There are laws against that you know! lol! Not a bad idea though, but I still have a couple of years before they can work for me.

    Comment by James — September 10, 2008 @ 8:44 pm

  17. Ha! I so hear you on the indentured thing. They never get very good at the foot rub (just so you know). But wait till they can unload the dishwasher…bliss…

    have my 4yold emptying the silverware…every day.

    Oh and they never get better at the go fetch thing either. 10yold can’t find it. 7yold can’t remember what she went after. And 4yold comes back with bedsheets!

    Comment by goodncrazy — September 10, 2008 @ 10:54 pm

  18. My son does his own laundry and the two older girls are learning how to do theirs together. All three of the older kids know how to sweep and mop and the fourth one is learning those. My baby is just learning how to use a Mr Clean eraser on everything (pretty much). She cleans the walls, front of stove, and the refridgerator and likes to do it. She sometimes washes off the table too by standing on the chairs.

    Still, I do 95% of the cleaning around here.

    Between my daughter and my son, they know how to make a bunch of different meals and my husband is a wonderful cook.

    Still, I do 90% of the cooking around here. (My husband does about 7%, I think.)

    All 5 kids have brains to know that we put our shoes in the shoe closet and eyes to search for them.

    Still, I do 99% of the searching around here.

    Comment by Julie — September 11, 2008 @ 5:45 pm

  19. Indentured servants? Where have I heard that before? However, since you are seriously considering this, may I suggest that in order to get your money’s worth, you have to get rid of Merry Maids.

    Comment by Grandmother — September 11, 2008 @ 11:55 pm

  20. Hah! Fat chance! That stage last about 5-7 years and then, then you are the biggest loser in town! :) Enjoy it while you can! Those teen years are barreling down on you already!

    Comment by tibby — September 12, 2008 @ 10:53 am

  21. It is great when they can start working for you or take care of things by themselves. I think the best thing by far for me was when Clare could open the car door, buckle herself in, and close the door. It feels like it saves lots of time.

    Comment by Darren — September 14, 2008 @ 8:40 am

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