August 31, 2008

Would you like to join us for dinner?

Before having kids I would think about how I wanted to raise my children. I imagined dinner around the table, having dynamic conversations about the meaning of life or how much western civilization has been influenced by the ancient Greeks.

Instead, I find our family engaged in conversation of the lowest common denominator:

TheMonk: Elmo says it’s okay to go pee-pee on the floor but I go pee-pee in the toilet.
Daddy: Let’s not go pee-pee on the floor.  You can go pee-pee in the toilet all the time.
TheMonk: Yes.  I go pee-pee in the toilet like a big boy.
Daddy: Yes, Monk.  And don’t you worry about it being 2 months since you started going pee-pee in the potty and you still haven’t gone poo-poo in the potty.  Don’t you worry at all, Big Guy.
Mommy: And Monkey’s going to go poo-poo in the potty soon, right Monk?
TheMonk: Yes.  But I’m not going to go poo-poo upstairs like Swee’Pea.  [Note: Last month, after a nap, Mommy took Swee'Pea's Pull-Up off without realizing Swee'Pea had deposited a few "pebbles" into her Pull-Up during nap time.  The pebbles fell out onto the floor and TheMonk freaked out and tortured poor unsuspecting Swee'Pea about "going poo-poo on the floor."]
Daddy: That wasn’t Swee’Pea’s fault, Monk.
Mommy: That’s right.  Swee’Pea went poo-poo in her Pull-Up.  Mommy didn’t know.  It wasn’t her fault, Monkey.
TheMonk: Hey, I just tooted!
Swee’Pea: Maybe you should go poo-poo in the toilet right now, Monk. Do you have to go poo-poo right now?
TheMonk: No. I don’t have to go right now. I just tooted.

Nothing like potty talk at the dinner table.  On the plus side, I hear the Ancient Greeks had indoor plumbing, so maybe I can squeeze that tidbit into tomorrow night’s conversation.


  1. rolling. with. laughter. gasp.

    Comment by mamie — August 31, 2008 @ 10:49 pm

  2. I’ve only read your blog a few months now, so I’ve never heard The Monk referred to as Monkey before! I seriously thought he was named The Monk because as an infant he looked calm and meditative, or because he hummed a lot or something. Makes a little more sense now!

    On the subject of potty talk between parents and children at the dinner table, it just sounds so normal to me now that the above conversation you describe sounds as normal to me as talking about the school day. It also seems normal to be eating dinner, stop briefly to help someone with the potty, possibly while still chewing, and then go right back to eating again. Parenting changes your perspective, doesn’t it?

    Comment by Lynnie — September 1, 2008 @ 4:17 am

  3. Why, we should have ourselves a dinner party. Seems that we talk about the same topics.

    Sorry to break this to you, but Baylee has been potty trained for about 5 months as far as tee-teeing goes, but has JUST started to poo-poo on the potty. We’re not even going to discuss Brayden. I’ll probably be bribing his kindergarten teachers to change a pull-up.

    Comment by Amy — September 1, 2008 @ 6:42 am

  4. Oh. Are you saying that conversations around the roast beef aren’t like that for everyone? Hmmm, I’ll have to think about that one and try to do better.

    Comment by Anissa@Hope4Peyton — September 1, 2008 @ 8:15 am

  5. I’ll totally come for dinner at your place! The conversation around our dinner table of late has been rather focused on vomit and fingernail dirt. Awesome right?

    Comment by MadWomanMeg — September 2, 2008 @ 12:10 am

  6. This could not possibly sound MORE like my own dinner conversation. I have two boys, 16 months apart. I should write a post JUST FOR YOU about our dinner conversations.

    But, it seems like you have already heard them.

    Oh and my kids literally shit on the floor because they insist on telling me that they are scared of the toilet even though that have BOTH pooped in it numerous times. My older one actually pooped his pants in the backyard the other day, took his underwear off and threw the poop where the dog’s poop was. Then, left the incriminating underwear outside and came in the house…

    He got busted because his shorts were on inside out.

    Comment by angel — September 2, 2008 @ 7:38 am

  7. Oh my, this is what I have to look forward to huh? I’d forgotten. It’s funny how two years of no diapers changes your life.

    Comment by Issa — September 2, 2008 @ 10:17 am

  8. Next time we meet, Ane can discuss the merits of Princess underwear as compared to regular underwear with Swee’Pea. Just wearing Princess panties can make one feel invincible, so I’ve heard.

    Comment by Deanna — September 2, 2008 @ 12:29 pm

  9. I know that isn’t nice dinner conversation and this really isn’t good blog comment conversation..but I used to have to go potty EVERY time we sat down for dinner. I’d leave the door open so I could talk to mom and dad..then I could come back and report the shape and size…yes, I would look at it like I was looking at clouds.

    Comment by mp — September 3, 2008 @ 6:41 am

  10. I doesn’t change as they get older. Maybe sometime after six proper table etiquette will set in.

    But what’s with Elmo saying it’s okay to go pee pee on the floor?

    Comment by Darren — September 4, 2008 @ 5:53 am

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