Before having kids I would think about how I wanted to raise my children. I imagined dinner around the table, having dynamic conversations about the meaning of life or how much western civilization has been influenced by the ancient Greeks.
Instead, I find our family engaged in conversation of the lowest common denominator:
TheMonk: Elmo says it’s okay to go pee-pee on the floor but I go pee-pee in the toilet.
Daddy: Let’s not go pee-pee on the floor. You can go pee-pee in the toilet all the time.
TheMonk: Yes. I go pee-pee in the toilet like a big boy.
Daddy: Yes, Monk. And don’t you worry about it being 2 months since you started going pee-pee in the potty and you still haven’t gone poo-poo in the potty. Don’t you worry at all, Big Guy.
Mommy: And Monkey’s going to go poo-poo in the potty soon, right Monk?
TheMonk: Yes. But I’m not going to go poo-poo upstairs like Swee’Pea. [Note: Last month, after a nap, Mommy took Swee'Pea's Pull-Up off without realizing Swee'Pea had deposited a few "pebbles" into her Pull-Up during nap time. The pebbles fell out onto the floor and TheMonk freaked out and tortured poor unsuspecting Swee'Pea about "going poo-poo on the floor."]
Daddy: That wasn’t Swee’Pea’s fault, Monk.
Mommy: That’s right. Swee’Pea went poo-poo in her Pull-Up. Mommy didn’t know. It wasn’t her fault, Monkey.
TheMonk: Hey, I just tooted!
Swee’Pea: Maybe you should go poo-poo in the toilet right now, Monk. Do you have to go poo-poo right now?
TheMonk: No. I don’t have to go right now. I just tooted.
Nothing like potty talk at the dinner table. On the plus side, I hear the Ancient Greeks had indoor plumbing, so maybe I can squeeze that tidbit into tomorrow night’s conversation.
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