August 19, 2008

It’s my patriotic duty to not raise whiners

We have a saying around here… “Don’t give in, Don’t ever give in.”

Okay, maybe it’s just me that says that.  I’ll have to ask the Lovely Wife how she does it.  But for me, I have to look fury in the eye and never, ever blink.

‘Cause when you give into your kid’s screaming, the communists win.

But every now and then I think, “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to live with the commies.”

Like two days ago, upon arriving home from work, Swee’Pea greeted me with an “owie.” She showed me her thumb that had a hang nail.  So I went and got the clippers, trimmed the hang nail, and even put on a Hello Kitty band aid, which around here makes all owies seem less severe.

That night, after going to bed, Swee’Pea lost her Hello Kitty Band Aid.  It fell off and would not go back on.  But seeing as how we were pretty sure she wouldn’t die from her hang nail, we assured her we’d put on a new band aid in the morning but it was time to go to sleep.

And that is when Swee’Pea lost her sh*t.

She cried.  She screamed.  She yelled.  She kicked.  She thrashed.  She threw a tantrum so bad that Naomi Campbell stopped slapping her assistant long enough to say, “Damn, girl.”

It was at that moment that I thought, let’s just give her the damn band aid.  But then I thought of what could happen if I let her get her way by throwing tantrums.  First it’s band aids.  Next it’s expensive clothes and then, what, a car?  No, I don’t think so.  She was going to learn the hard way that crying does not get you what you want.  I would let her cry as long as it took for me to prove this important point.

It took over 30 minutes.

At one point, she screamed for Mommy, Daddy, and Nutty Kitty (our cat) to help her.  Little did she know that once the screaming reached octaves only audible by bats, Nutmeg the cat ran downstairs while saying, “I’m outta here!”

(Noticeably, she didn’t once ask TheMonk to help her and, just as noticeably, TheMonk never uttered a word while lying in the crib next to her.  Either the guy can sleep through a rock concert or he had no interest in getting pulled into this drama.)

Finally, silence overtook us as Swee’Pea screamed herself to sleep, a shell of her former self.  When I arrived the next morning, new Band Aid in hand as promised, Swee’Pea scrambled up to her feet so I could put on her band aid.  She then wrapped her arms around me as I picked her up and she gave me a kiss.

Nice try, Sweetheart.  But I’m not caving next time either.

I don’t look good in red.


  1. “Finally, you have broader considerations that might follow what you would call the “falling domino” principle. You have a row of dominoes set up, you knock over the first one, and what will happen to the last one is the certainty that it will go over very quickly. So you could have a beginning of a disintegration that would have the most profound influences.”

    - Dwight Eisenhower

    Comment by DustyShelf — August 20, 2008 @ 2:51 am

  2. I’ve not given in to a tantrum yet, either – but, damn, it’s hard not to sometimes! Good for you!

    I always find myself sneaking into his room after times like this and watching him sleep peacefully. And I always find myself apologizing to him when he can’t hear me. Pretty stupid, huh?

    Comment by Laurie — August 20, 2008 @ 4:14 am

  3. It’s hard, certainly, but you’ve got the right approach.

    However, I have to admit to being impressed by the Monk: able to sleep through and/or ignore constant complaining and whining? He is going to make a great husband some day.

    Comment by SciFi Dad — August 20, 2008 @ 5:33 am

  4. I’m usually the hard ass and Mike always gives in. He’s such a pushover!

    I have a hard time picking and choosing battles though.

    Comment by sam {temptingmama} — August 20, 2008 @ 7:27 am

  5. I don’t give in either. Am immune to the screaming.

    I will warn you though, that drama queens are always drama queens….so she probably won’t grow out of it any time soon. Maya still tries that crap and she’s going to be seven in December.

    I love that Monk sleeps through it. Nata does too.

    Comment by Issa — August 20, 2008 @ 7:51 am

  6. go you! outstubborning a stubborn! ;)

    Comment by ali — August 20, 2008 @ 11:47 am

  7. Your spine is strong and your balls are solid titanium! My husband has started to cave more than once, until I shoot him the look that says “if you do this now, you may take “whichever child has lost their shit” with you when I kick you out of the house!”

    Then we do the parent dance of superiority in the hallway for winning one of these battles.

    Comment by Anissa@Hope4Peyton — August 20, 2008 @ 3:08 pm

  8. MEANIES, all of you! Just remember it’s your DAUGHTERS who will care for you in your old age, as for me, I’m doomed.

    No co-dependancy issues for TheMonk. He won’t be visiting you (nearly as often) in the old folks home.

    Comment by Grandmother — August 20, 2008 @ 3:16 pm

  9. I see we’re living the same life right now. Baylee tantrums; Brayden ignores. Our refusal to give in to her screaming/crying/thrashing does seem to be paying off, but DAMN, it’s hard, isn’t it?

    Comment by Amy — August 20, 2008 @ 6:41 pm

  10. You have just described our household about every other night. Substitute needed a band-aid with just about ANY situation….A battle of wills that makes me fear the teen years!

    Comment by Cynthia — August 20, 2008 @ 6:57 pm

  11. Good luck, good luck good luck!!!!!! Mine are just starting the tantrums. Hopefully, we will survive too!

    Comment by Courtney — August 20, 2008 @ 7:28 pm

  12. DrillSgt. and I do pretty well about staying on the same page, although they try to get away with more when he’s around (I still haven’t figured that one out). They won’t even ask me anymore, once the stomping starts I walk away. It’s the Grammy that suffers though, my poor mom is putty in their little hands. You should have seen her after my first day at work, she was exhausted!

    Hugs & Blessings!

    Comment by MamáChanga — August 20, 2008 @ 11:08 pm

  13. The Champ tried refusing to take a shower tonight. Either bath or bed, I told him. I let him sit there for 15 minutes and then started marching him up to bed almost 2 hours early.

    He took the shower.

    Comment by above average joe — August 21, 2008 @ 6:38 pm

  14. Oh Lord… you mean this is what I have to look forward to? Wait a sec… forget looking forward. Viv is EIGHT MONTHS OLD and she already screeches and turns red trying to get her way.
    I admire your strength and perseverance. There but for the Grace of God and a lack of language skills (yet) go I…

    Comment by Lauren — August 22, 2008 @ 7:18 am

  15. I just find it so hard to believe that Nutmeg would not offer to help!

    Comment by Ed (zoesdad) — August 22, 2008 @ 8:45 am

  16. We don’t give in to the demands of terrorists around here, either.

    We just invest in good ear plugs and boxed wine. Wink.

    The hubs however, gives in to all my demands. Cuz he’s a sucker for the batting baby greens of his wife. Hahahahaah.

    Comment by Redneck Mommy — August 23, 2008 @ 6:02 pm

  17. Isn’t it crazy how kids think band aids will cure everything? Hello Kitty Band Aids are pretty popular around here, too. I took off my daughter’s shirt before bath time the other day and about ten of them were stuck to her stomach. Somehow she’d found the hidden stash! Woe to anyone who gets a legitimate cut before our next shopping trip!

    Comment by Lynnie — August 27, 2008 @ 5:47 am

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