Funny, kid, real funny
It’s dinner time and we are dining on Boboli pizza, apple sauce and a glass of rice milk. The twins are enjoying the pizza and all is well. Everyone is in a good mood at the end of a nice weekend and I am relaxed and at ease while eating my slice of pepperoni pizza.
Then, without warning, TheMonk begins to make a terrible noise and I am jolted back to reality. I look over at TheMonk and his face is beet red. He is holding his hands to his throat while continuing to make a loud, choking noise. “Ack! Ack! Ack!”
Realizing my son is in danger, I jump up and ask, “MONK! ARE YOU OKAY?! ARE YOU OKAY?!!!!”
I run over to his chair and prepare to lift him up out of the chair. His face is a deep red now and I know I have to act fast. I focus on what I’ll do once I reach him. I decide I’ll whack him between the shoulder blades first but will also be prepared to lift him up to perform the Heimlich maneuver if needed.
TheMonk is watching me react and our eyes are locked onto each other as I race to him. He can visibly see the fear in my face and I ask again, “MONK, ARE YOU OKAY?!!!”
And then… The kid smiles at me.
He pulls his hands away from his neck, relaxes as the redness drains from his face, and lets out a laugh.
I stop in my tracks, having trouble computing just what is happening. It is clear that he is no longer choking but what becomes even clearer as he continues to laugh is that he never was choking in the first place.
Yep, the kid thought it would be funny to make his old man sweat. And his laughter made it clear that he had succeeded pretty good.
Until I started choking him with my own hands. Then it wasn’t so funny.
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Reminds me of the phrase that I’m sure I will be uttering a few years from now… “if you aren’t dead, I’m going to kill you.”
Comment by Liz — June 2, 2008 @ 10:00 am
Scary! Too bad you didn’t have a camera handy, you could have taken a picture of you choking him to remind him of the event. Glad it was just a joke and not for real.
Comment by MamáChanga — June 2, 2008 @ 10:04 am
A preverted sense of humor, I like it.
Comment by Grandmother — June 2, 2008 @ 10:19 am
Hmmm, sounds like he got you back for the “Leaving him at home when you go out” sarcasm thing you did to him a little while back.
Comment by Julie — June 2, 2008 @ 10:45 am
The mind boggles at where he even got the idea to do that. It’s pretty sophisticated reasoning, don’t you think?
Comment by ByJane — June 2, 2008 @ 11:14 am
Sick and twisted sense of humor—I like it.
My son did something similar to me, only he wasn’t kidding. It is pretty scary.
Comment by Ed (zoesdad) — June 2, 2008 @ 12:22 pm
How did he even think of that? Sick… but smart.
Comment by Rachael — June 2, 2008 @ 12:58 pm
It might be time to break out the story of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” Just a thought.
Comment by Deanna — June 2, 2008 @ 2:50 pm
Shouldve gave him a shot to the back anyway. It might have taught him a lesson.
Comment by above average joe — June 2, 2008 @ 4:39 pm
Oh that’s scary.
I’m surprised he thought to “joke” about that.
Comment by cathy — June 2, 2008 @ 5:47 pm
he would get along famously with my little monsters
Comment by ali — June 2, 2008 @ 6:58 pm
Oh…you are in so much trouble with that kid. He’s so smart!
Comment by Laurie — June 2, 2008 @ 7:54 pm
No more Simpsons for Monk.
Comment by Whit — June 2, 2008 @ 8:40 pm
Ahahahahah! Oh my, I just about peed my pants. That kid is going to be the death of you….if you aren’t the death of him first. He’s got some courage pulling a stunt like that.
Comment by MadWomanMeg — June 2, 2008 @ 11:11 pm
That little stinker! You better keep your eye on that one!
Comment by K and J's mom — June 3, 2008 @ 5:13 am
I love it! It’s awful- awfully wicked. Some people teach their kids the alphabet and numbers and other “important stuff.” Not us (calm down- of course we do) we have “How to be funny” lessons at my house. Not sure I’ll be adding this idea to the lesson but if my son did it on his own I’d be beaming with pride (after I yelled at him, of course)
Comment by Lindsay Lebresco (Graco) — June 3, 2008 @ 6:25 am
This is very promising. I’m going to work with him this coming weekend on a new one, involving some fake blood. You’re going to love it.
Comment by Rattling the Kettle — June 3, 2008 @ 11:12 am
i guess what the prankster does not get is that giving his dad a heart attack is rarely thought of as a practical joke.
Comment by mamie — June 3, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
That one is going to give you a run for your money!
Comment by slackermommy — June 4, 2008 @ 5:17 pm
It was funny enough to make me LOL. Which I never do.
Comment by KTP — June 10, 2008 @ 12:25 pm