Dear Little Ones,
The Holiday season has arrived. It’s a nice time of the year to take a step back and reflect. As I remove myself from the daily motions, I find myself focusing on the relationship I have built with you.
A few nights ago, after we put you to bed, your mother and I watched a movie called Big Fish. The movie is about a father who tells fabulous stories – often making it difficult to find where the truth ended and fantasy began. The movie is also about a relationship between that father and his only son. It is up and down. They go years without speaking. And then the son finds the truth and all he was looking for – but not what he was expecting.
The point I am trying to make here is that I try so very hard to be that special person in your life. I do it because, as you know, my own father died when I was just six. I can honestly say, that every time I leave you to go to work or anywhere without you, I wonder if this will be the last time I say goodbye. It is part of who I am, good or bad, and I am driven to live each day with you as if it could be my last.
That is why I’ll jump on cushions with you rather than watch the big football game. That’s why I pack so much fun into the 40 minutes of time we have to spend together when I get home from work. That is why I tell you that I love you every chance I get. I may not be here tomorrow and that sucks. But the thought of that possibility makes me a want to be here for you now.
Now, I know someday that you won’t be as quick to dance the “Chicken Dance” with me on a Thanksgiving day or get in fights with the Tickle Monster. Someday you’ll have friends and then a family of your own to compete with my time. Someday, the idea of dancing in the streets will probably embarrass you but I hope that you know that the feeling behind what we do together will never change. I love you with all of my heart.
I love you more than there are stars in the sky. I love you more than there are grains of sand along the shore. I love you more than you, my little ones, will ever, ever know. And whether I am here in person or just an imprint on the fabric of your souls, I hope that I have made a difference in your life.
You, along with your mother, are the center of my universe. The stories that I tell, the joy that I bring to each of you, the love that we share in the craziest of moments build a relationship between us – a bond that, I hope and pray, will never ever be broken. Even when I have gone.
I love you, my little ones. For now… and for always.
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