August 28, 2007

I love the smell of diapers in the morning

We just had some friends stay for the weekend. We spent a good amount of time straightening up before they arrived so they would think that we are super parents with twins who don’t have a small collection of Hot Wheels, plastic fruit and stale Cheerios living under our coffee table. We wanted them to think our house is always this nice.

And speaking of nice, some people go to great lengths to keep their house smelling nice. There is an entire industry devoted to this single aspect of home living. There are candles, plug-ins, sprays, carpet powders and potpourri in just about any scent you can imagine. If you want your house to smell lemony fresh with a touch of oatmeal raisin cookies, it is possible to combine a few of the above products and – voilĂ  – instant warmth.

But if you have TWO toddlers who are programmed to excrete a toxic-waste-like poop each and every night at about the same time Lindsay Lohan is puking from her last amaretto sour, AND it has been so hot where you live that the Air Conditioner has become permanently set to “Igloo” then you are apt to wake to a different aroma emanating from the air ducts into each and every room of the house. Waking up to Folgers, it’s not.

Every now and then I get a whiff of what is the unmistakable smell of my kids poop. (BTW, it it just me or can you also identify your kid’s poop smell in a crowded room of toddlers?) My fear is that we’ve become accustomed to this smell. Much like your best friends house in the third grade who’s parents were from India and when you walked into the musty house you thought… “Don’t they smell this funk?” Did our guests smell this too? If they did, they were polite about it and puked in the guest bathroom with the door closed.

So, if you’re in the neighborhood, you are welcome to stop by anytime. We are great hosts and will welcome you with open arms to our humble abode. However, it might be a good idea to take along some lemons or oatmeal raisin cookies (and please don’t check under the coffee table).

4 Comments

  1. I truly believe it would be beneficial for the health and well-being of you and your family.. if you were to spend some time cleaning up. A lot. Seriously.

    And… you should start this cleaning process TONIGHT! Around 5:30pm PST (8:30pm EST)

    You owe it to them. And your visitors.

    Comment by L.A. Daddy — August 29, 2007 @ 9:15 am

  2. Dear son,
    The reference to Apocalypse Now, is worrisome.
    Some day, SOOON, the children will be potty trained and THIS is gonna end…
    You NEED/HAVE to get out more without the children, preferably to botanical gardens and spa’s with aroma therapy treatments.
    Love mom

    Comment by Grandmother — August 30, 2007 @ 9:43 am

  3. L.A. Daddy’s appeal seems a little self-interested to me.

    My house is not nice. No one gets to visit here until Tad is potty-trained. ;)

    Comment by Deanna — August 30, 2007 @ 11:30 pm

  4. Well at least with potty training the poop smell is relegated to the bathroom…I feel ya…I have one potty trained and one in poopy diapers and I swear I smell poop no matter where I’m at!

    Comment by Chinanow — August 31, 2007 @ 9:19 am

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