Where have I been you ask?
Well, no, actually no one asked.
I mean, Metrodad goes a week without posting and people apparently send out search dogs and hold candle-light vigils. But does anyone wonder where good old Matthew went? Nooooooo.
But I digress.
Anyway, if you were wondering where I’ve been this past week it would be a long story. A long story that involves barfing, body aches and deeply religious overtures to God, Buddha, Abba, Yahweh, Allah, George Burns and Morgan Freeman.
It would involve a lovely romantic tale of a married couple puking together (Thank George Burns for two and a half bathrooms) hours after their son spread bodily fluids throughout our house.
It would involve can’t-miss work meetings while aches permeated every sense and only made possible by ingesting large amounts of pain killer and swigging Imodium AD (After Death?) from the bottle.
It would involve weekend trips to the after-hours pediatrician to have ear infections diagnosed on not one but both Swee’Pea and TheMonk.
It would not involve one solid meal for four straight days.
It would involve two parents bargaining with each other and with employers to take time off to care for two sick kids but not for each other.
But as with any great story it would also feature great dramatic turns where just as it seems evil and darkness would prevail, light and the pink stuff (in the guise of Pepto and Omoxyciliin) snuffed out all evil.
The end of the story would show a calm lake with early morning sunlight breaking through the clouds to reveal a day of normalcy. A day when Mommy and Daddy went to work. A day where Swee’Pea and Monk went to daycare. A day where schedules became the norm rather than the exception.
It would have been a great story. But I’m too tired to tell it. I’m going to bed now.
No candle-light vigils, please.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.