I feel like an explanation is in order. You see, having two of you that are the same age sometimes makes it hard on a guy like me. Now I know you are a boy and your sister is a girl and there are obvious differences between the two of you but sometimes I get you two confused.
For example, when you and your sister were about a month or two old, I awoke in the middle of the night to crying. I stumbled over to the bassinet you two shared and found a wet diaper and a wet onesie. I changed the diaper and onesie and stumbled back to bed. The next morning I found you in a pink onesie. I thought I was changing your sister the night before and it had been you all along. Sorry about that.
Another example of the confusion that exists when there are two of you is that I never seem to get your name right. You have been called Swee’Pea many times. You have also been called Nutmeg (the cat) so it’s more me than you. It’s also hereditary. Ask your Grandmother.
But tonight, my dear son, is the reason I am writing you. I owe you a big apology. You see, tonight in the bath you and your sister were there in front of me. Bubbles were all over the place obscuring my vision beneath the water. It is this reason that I mistook you for your sister. I was washing body parts and I got confused and scrubbed your private parts a little harder than any male would like to be scrubbed.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t do any permanent damage, though. The fact that your eyes bulged out of your head for a short second suggests that it was uncomfortable but you didn’t cry so I’m assuming I didn’t inflict too much damage.
I’ll try not to make this mistake again. I do want grandchildren someday after all.
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