March 14, 2006

Things I don’t understand…

Why do I burp more often than either of the twins when I gently pat their backs after a meal?

Why does Swee’Pea always poop right as I’m ready to put her in the car in the morning? (btw, what’s the etiquette on that? I always change the diaper because I’m embarrassed our daycare provider would be upset.)

Why a baby will sleep three or four nights in a row, teasing you into thinking it’s now sleeping through the night, only to say, “Nope, not tonight… Sucker.”

Why I am absolutely unable to walk out of Costco without spending at least $200 (but at least I’ve got enough ziploc bags to last until the apocolypse).

String Cheese.

Why we have at least 3 different types of diaper rash cream in the house.

How even though I’m getting about 25% more sleep than I was a month ago, that I’m still freakin’ tired.

How the first smile I see from my children at the end of a long day erases all of the chaos from my mind. (I may not understand it, but thank God it’s there)


  1. Lots of kids who hate cheese will eat string cheese, just for the thrill of pulling the little strings off. It`s kind of like how everything tastes better on a stick, and how some kids won`t eat sausages unless you put them on buns, smother them with ketchup, and call them “hot dogs.”

    Sorry, I don`t know the answers to the rest of your questions. And I`m not sure I adequately answered that one, either.

    Comment by L. — March 14, 2006 @ 10:51 pm

  2. 1) Setting a example. Just wait until you try potty-training… “Hurry up! I have to go now!”
    2) Because it is a conspiracy to make you as frantic as possible in your attempt to leave on time (mine do this too, and sometimes, they both manage to do it). I think it’s only fair to hand over the kids to any caregivers with a clean diaper on… unless it’s a grandma, of course.
    3) They think they’re missing something if they sleep through the night. Like cuddling with Mom or Dad.
    4) My husband works ACROSS THE STREET from a Costco – we have this problem, too. Fortunately, if we forget something, he can always pick it up the next day.
    5) Just wait until you’re trying to get something – anything! – with calcium and protein into a picky toddler. Then even processed cheese is your friend.
    6) Because if one doesn’t work, another might. I usually stick with good old original formula A&D ointment.
    7) You’re doing more than 25% more work to keep up with active babies. 8) Love, love, love. Just try not to think about future orthodonture when you see teeth in that smile.

    Comment by Deanna — March 15, 2006 @ 12:56 am

  3. Sorry to break it to you but you will be tired for the rest of your life… Here’s my motto: “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

    Costco is evil. Haven’t touched the place in months. (Although I do miss my humongous packages of toilet paper.)

    And poopy diapers when you are about to leave the house? It’s a conspiracy to drive you insane. Bri will stop soon and JT will start. ;)

    Comment by Katie — March 15, 2006 @ 4:52 am

  4. 1. Don’t know. Why DO you do that?

    2. Change them, otherwise your caregiver will start to believe you’re letting them steam in it for an hour before coming because you’re squeamish and/or lazy. However, a child may poop “in the car, on the way over” once in a while – but save this for true emergencies.

    3. Don’t know. My kids did it, too. It’s a conspiracy.

    4. A place like that, I leave my purse locked in the glove box of the car, and only take in a set amount of cash. No cards, no chequebook – no impulse spending! Works like a charm.

    5. No idea. Overpriced, over packaged, under quality. Ick. Someone gave it to my kids once. They won’t touch it – they call it “plastic cheese”. I am so proud.

    6. It breeds in dark corners. Like chewed up Cheerios.

    7. It’s called “Sleep Deficit”. You’re so far in the red on the sleep, that it’ll take a couple of years of ten-hour nights before you’re caught back up. I think I caught up when my youngest was 7 – and she was a singleton. So you won’t be caught up till your kids are teens – and are keeping you up for entirely different reasons. (Sorry about that…)

    8. God is good. :-)

    Comment by Mary — March 15, 2006 @ 5:27 am

  5. “Ours not to reason why…”

    All of these are part of a vast conspiracy to allow JT & Bri to mold you into what they want you to be. So you know, your wife isn’t molding you anymore, the kids are… At least that’s my theory, weak as it may be.

    And sleep is a myth.

    Comment by Kemp — March 15, 2006 @ 6:35 am

  6. Burping the babies always made me burp too. I thought I was crazy. Thank you.

    Comment by Sarah — March 15, 2006 @ 9:50 am

  7. 1. Who knows?
    2. Because she is a baby.
    3. Because he is baby.
    4. See a therapist.
    5. I like Monterey Jack myself.
    6. Throw 2 away.
    7. Because you are older.
    8. It’s called unconditional love.

    Comment by Grandmother — March 15, 2006 @ 10:10 am

  8. Yeah me too! (in response to Sarah) I thought I was some sort of freak. Good to know we’re not alone in the universe.

    Comment by Nina — March 15, 2006 @ 10:40 am

  9. 1. Because you’re genetically gifted.
    2. I would leave 20 minutes early and let the day-care person do it. Just saying, not that I’ve ever done that before.
    3. Um, cause they can.
    4. Can’t help, I do the same thing. Probably even more.
    5. I love that string cheese had no explanation. I don’t get it either, I just know kids love it.
    6. In case one stops working. Cause they all smelled different? Really, no idea.
    7. Because you don’t really get enough sleep, but before you were getting no sleep.
    8. $150 stroller, $250 crib, $80 million in diapers, life with a baby – Priceless.

    Comment by Melissa — March 15, 2006 @ 12:04 pm

  10. Dude, you should write Hallmark cards. Seriously.

    Comment by MIM — March 20, 2006 @ 11:49 am

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