One of the challenges I’m finding with parenting two babies at the same time, is to avoid comparing the two as we know they are unique individuals and will progress at different rates. I imagine they will be compared to each other for many years to come and I want to avoid that as much as possible. Even here on my blog I sometimes have to think about what I want to write about and how it might read to TheMonk and Swee’Pea someday down the road. My gut instinct is that they won’t care that one said their first word earlier than the other or that one walked earlier than the other because we will be raising them to not be competitive with each other but to support each other and celebrate each other’s accomplishments.
However, I realize this is easier said than done. My brother and I are five years apart. I’m the older one and I was a tough act to follow – especially during the high school years where teachers and coaches all knew me and expected my brother to be similar to me. He was very senstive to the comparisons and it might be why we currently don’t have the best relationship. Comparisons are inevitable and can be burdensome after a while.
At the same time, I don’t want to avoid celebrating success of one child just because the other has not experienced the same success. This is shaping up to be the most difficult aspect of parenting twins and I hope that we can find a balance that will be beneficial for all involved. One thing we have going for us is that our twins are different genders. This may alleviate some of the comparisons but I’m certain it won’t completely take care of it.
When writing this blog I purposely try to avoid comparisons as I know both will progress at different rates. That’s okay. It’s normal. And I hope TheMonk and Swee’Pea realize that years from now. My hope is that instead of feeling like they are always being compared to each other and rather than be competitive with each other, I’d like them to be each other’s biggest supporter. A built-in cheerleader. Siblings for life. Because if you can’t depend on your sibling for support, who can you turn to?
So, I guess I would like to say to TheMonk and Swee’Pea as they read this blog down the road, it’s not a competition. We’re all on the same team. I truly love you both the same – no matter what. I couldn’t have asked for two more wonderful children.
In fact, if you pressed me, I’d have to say there’s no comparison.
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