January 7, 2006

Anything but that!

No… Please… Don’t make me do it!

I’ll change diapers for a week!

I’ll… I’ll… do the laundry for a month!

I just can’t do that!

I… I… don’t have the dexterity in my fingers today.

I’m feeling a little weak today.

I just showered and I don’t want to sweat!

I’m… I’m… not mentally prepared for this!

Oh, Please, Please, Please don’t make me do it today!



  1. oooooh.
    I had forgotten about what changing the crib sheets used to be like.
    never ever ever did they seem to fit, ever.

    Comment by Gawdessness — January 7, 2006 @ 7:49 am

  2. Seriously. That has got to be the biggest pain in the behind … ever. Unfortunately, around here we do a lot of sheet changing since Tod-lar can’t go to bed without first drinking a gallon of water.

    Comment by MIM — January 7, 2006 @ 10:13 am

  3. Henry had terrible reflux, so we used to change the crib sheets three or four times A DAY. No joke.

    And oh god was it a pain in the ass.

    Comment by Susan — January 7, 2006 @ 11:21 am

  4. I agree! My husband and I practically fight over who has to do it. And we each have what we think is the best method. Mick takes the mattress completely out of the crib. I take the bumper off, and then change the sheets.

    Either way, it’s a pain in the @$$ for sure!

    Comment by Andie D. — January 7, 2006 @ 12:00 pm

  5. Once when I was changing the crib sheets, my husband heard me shouting expletives over the monitor (the REALLY bad ones, where you string together about 6 words to make a new curse word). He came running because he thought something was wrong. He’s changed them ever since that night. I do love that man.

    Comment by amy — January 7, 2006 @ 12:20 pm

  6. Luckily, we haven’t had to change the crib sheets too much. However, I keep on having the change the changing pad covers (due to pee/poo overflow) and washing them almost every day in the past week.

    Comment by daddydrama — January 7, 2006 @ 1:47 pm

  7. I don’t get it… but I’m sure I will soon enough?

    Comment by kate — January 7, 2006 @ 3:31 pm

  8. AMEN!! A sure way to sweat them excess pounds away & build up arm muscles, if up & down, up & down, of 2 babies aren’t enough already.

    Comment by cindy of Crusades — January 7, 2006 @ 3:52 pm

  9. With you 100% there my friend… I always tried to make sure I was doing something else… anything else… when it came time to change the crib sheets…

    Still gives me chills down my spine.

    Comment by Kemp — January 7, 2006 @ 10:20 pm

  10. okay: buy lots of good quality sheets with elastic that actuallay stretches, layer then one atop another (2-3 max) with a layer of chux in between, then just pull off the offending layer, leaving at least one behind so you only have to re-sheet eevry other, or every other every other time.

    ugh. makes me sweat just thinking about it. and i never let boyband change foo’s sheets b/c he never makes the bows pretty on the bumper when he ties it back on. can’t have *that* now can we? thanks for the chuckle.

    Comment by bitemycookie — January 8, 2006 @ 6:59 am

  11. Oh yeah, now I remeber why we were so happy to go to the todlar bed a few months ago.

    Comment by Melissa — January 8, 2006 @ 12:34 pm

  12. AND this is the reason my fifth baby is in a port-a-crib. LOL Much easier sheet changing. (Also, I gave my crib to my sister because I thought I wasn’t having any other babies.)

    Comment by Julie — January 8, 2006 @ 7:04 pm

  13. Why is it that crib manufacturers make cribs at just the right height to collapse all the vertebrae in your spine when trying to change the sheets?

    Comment by Chocolate Makes it Better — January 8, 2006 @ 10:22 pm

  14. Ugh the crib sheets! I hate those! Although changing bunk bed sheets isn’t much better.

    Comment by Katie — January 9, 2006 @ 6:33 am

  15. crib sheets suck so badly! i hate trying to get them back on!!!

    may the force be with you, dude.

    Comment by Stephanie — January 9, 2006 @ 7:25 am

  16. See, I don’t mind the crib sheets so much. But BOY is our bed a Bitch! (And my hubby, I swear, plays the ineptness card just to get out of helping me make the bed.)

    Comment by the weirdgirl — January 9, 2006 @ 11:54 am

  17. Buy some Quick Zip Sheets at babycenter.com. You can zipper on a new top sheet without having to remove the bumper. They are awesome.

    Comment by dawn johnson — March 23, 2006 @ 11:53 am

  18. [...] You have also begun to pull yourself up. Your mother came into your room and found you pulling yourself up to your knees in your crib. This made me have to lower the mattress in your crib – again. First it was when you sat up and I was recruited by your mother to lower the mattress. Now, I have to do it once again. It has been documented how much I hate changing the sheets on your crib. Now, while I have become quite adept at wielding my trusty hex wrench, I lowered the crib as low as it will go. If you start climbing out of the crib, your mother can come up with a solution. [...]

    Pingback by Childs Play x2 — Because having one just wasn’t enough. » Don’t make me break out my hex wrench — May 8, 2006 @ 8:02 am

  19. [...] So, for the sake of argument, I’m going to assume you picked disposable diapers. Now, my biggest advice when choosing diapers is not to be a cheap bastard (although you might have to fight some genetic tendencies passed down by your old man). Spend the few extra pennies on a good box of Huggies or Pampers. The generic diapers seem to have a few paper towels stuffed in the crotch and that’s about it. Huggies and Pampers actually seem to put some absorbant gel into their diapers. This is important because no baby (or adult, for that matter) looks cute with urine running down their leg. Your mommy and daddy actually use two diapers (Well, we don’t. You use them. We just buy them). We use Huggies during the day (mainly because they work and Costco sells them in bulk) and Pampers Baby Dry during the night. This is a heavy-duty diaper that seems to do a better job of absorbing the copious amounts of fluids you two seem to deposit into it each night. This is important because it’s already been well-documented how hard it is to change the sheets on a crib. Trust me, no one wants to do this at 3:00 a.m. while listening to a screaming baby. [...]

    Pingback by Childs Play x2 — Because having one just wasn’t enough. » Life Lesson: Changing Diapers — June 23, 2006 @ 4:01 pm

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