Dear TheMonk and Bri,
This being a father thing is really starting to sink in. You are now well on your way to seven months and I cannot believe how much my life has changed since you were born. This being the new year, it has provided an opportunity to reflect on the past year and all that I see in that reflection is you. In fact, I see you everywhere I look little ones. I see you in the little boy holding his mama’s hand as they cross the street in front of me. I see you in the teenage girl behind the counter at Starbucks. I see you in the fifth-year senior quarterback leading his team to victory. I see you in the preschool kids that run by my office each morning.
You are my world little ones. The promise of your smiles gets me through the day and I never forget how lucky I am to have you in my life. Every night, your mother and I look at each other and remark about how lucky we are to have you both. I cannot imagine my life without you.
As a new father – your father – I’m struck by the awesome responsibility that you present. I feel so humble that I was chosen by some greater being to be your father – to protect you, to nurture you, to love you. I do not take this responsibility lightly and while I’m not entirely sure what comes next I know I’m pretty good at improvising. I try not to let fear of losing you interfere with living our lives. Every day I open the newspaper and read of children being abducted or hit by cars or things so awful I don’t even want to think about it. It is these times where my thoughts are only of how can I keep you safe. I do not have the magic answer but your safety will always be first and foremost on my mind. I also feel comfort in that I’m not alone in this. Your mother and I make a pretty good team and I hope you benefit from that in the years to come.
This parenting thing isn’t easy. In fact, it’s the hardest thing I have ever done. I hope, someday, you will come to understand how much your mother and I love you. I hope you understand that with this kind of love we will have to make decisions that you may not like. We won’t always be popular in our own household. And as much as I hope to be your friend and be the one you look to as you become an adult yourself, I also know that I need to be your father first. This will take some practice. I may not always make the right decision. But I will always be honest with you and tell you why I’m making that decision. My biggest hope is that we will always be able to communicate. A child should always be able to talk to his or her father.
TheMonk and Swee’Pea, you can become anything you want to become. I hope to help you get there. Every day you do something that makes me catch my breath in amazement. I cannot believe that you are my son and you are my daughter. I hope that sense of wonder never goes away. You both deserve a bit of wonder in your lives.
I love you little ones.
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