The day after Christmas
A quick glance at my search engine stats shows that someone found my blog by typing in “Santa left the milk and cookies drank all of daddy’s beer.” My first reaction was, that bastard! Then, I got to thinking. What if this really happened? I think TheMonk, in particular, would be concerned about this. I’d then suggest he write a letter to Santa. This is what I imagine that letter would be like…
December 26, 2005
Mr. Santa Claus
1oo Christmas Way
The North Pole
Dear Santa Claus,
Thanks for stopping by last night
I waited up to see you
But you stayed just outta sight.
Thank you for the presents
They weren’t too bad at all
But I guess you didn’t really listen
To what I told you at the mall
I wanted that new robot
The one that snorts and sparks and rocks
Instead you sent what Daddy wants
A brand new shiny Xbox
I do have a question for you:
When you were visiting here,
How come you left the milk and cookies
And, instead, drank Daddy’s beer?
That wasn’t very nice of you
I thought I saw Daddy shed a tear
‘Cause he never craves a glass of milk
But he sure does love his beer
Mommy told me not to worry
Daddy really isn’t mad
And sometimes this is the price you pay
To be listed as “good” instead of “bad”
So next year Santa, don’t you worry
We’ll skip the usual holiday cheer
Instead you’ll get a slice of pizza
And a big ol’ glass of beer.
Love,
TheMonk
9 Comments
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Thats great! LOL
Santa gets a bottle of beer and a couple of mince pies here.
Comment by Ivoryfrog — December 23, 2005 @ 12:44 am
The question is, what kind of beer was it that Santa lifted? Because at our house, someone might get hurt if they mess with Daddy’s Coronas. And if the limes go missing, heads may roll.
Comment by Deanna — December 23, 2005 @ 3:01 am
That was hilarious! I think Santa might be drinking all our beer this year as well. I think he might have to start tonight.
Have a great holiday!
Comment by Chag — December 23, 2005 @ 6:45 am
LOL JT’s a mean poet for one so young.
Comment by Mary — December 23, 2005 @ 8:21 am
Hmm! I’ll save Santa a seat.
Comment by Grandmother — December 23, 2005 @ 10:05 am
All I can say is that JT is one smart cookie. He already has a full grasp of the concept of “conditioned response,” i.e. give beer to Santa, he’ll give you a very good present. He then one ups Pavlov by adding pizza to the mix.
Comment by daddydrama — December 23, 2005 @ 12:17 pm
Merry Christmas, Matthew!
Comment by Mary — December 24, 2005 @ 4:55 am
Happy holidays!
I hope the new year brings many blessings for you.
Love, Sassy.
Comment by Sassy — December 24, 2005 @ 6:27 am
Of course Santa drinks beer! Why else is his nose so red, and his gut like a bowlful of jelly?
Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas to all of you.
Comment by L. — December 24, 2005 @ 12:22 pm