December 6, 2005

Life Lesson: Choosing a Christmas Tree

I’ll make this short.

Find a family or a guy really obsessed with finding the “perfect” tree. Follow them around as they look at trees. Don’t pay too close attention ’cause it doesn’t really matter what they do until it comes time to make a decision. As they finally narrow their choice down to two, get ready to pounce. As soon as they make their selection grab the other tree.

You now have the second-best tree on the lot and you didn’t have to go through a hundred trees to get it.

Oh, and have them cut an inch off the bottom for better water absorption while you’re still at the lot. Waiting to do it at home because you don’t want to wait in line only to find your little hand saw is pathetically inadequate to do the job so you end up using a jig saw and carving little one inch by one inch squares is just wrong (Not that I would know anything about that).


  1. Having fun in the workshop were we?

    Comment by Chocolate Makes it Better — December 6, 2005 @ 9:43 pm

  2. Hey! Get away from me! Find your own damn tree! Stop taking advantage of my neurosis.

    Comment by Mr. Big Dubya — December 7, 2005 @ 8:48 am

  3. That is a great idea. However it only works until those beautiful little babies of yours hit about two and a half. Then they will walk aroung the trees in awe, going “Daddy I want that one, no that one, no that one.” Then you end up with one that won’t fit in the house. That’s when the true joy of Christmas sets in.

    Comment by Melissa — December 7, 2005 @ 9:32 am

  4. Buy a fake tree & keep it for the next 15 years. problem solved:-)

    plus I’m allergic to pine oil – I nearly suffocated when I tried to cut the hedge in our old house & tried to pretend it wasn’t afecting me!

    Comment by Mrs Aginoth — December 7, 2005 @ 11:44 am

  5. Very ingenious, Matt and better ask Santa for a circular saw, just in case.

    Comment by Grandmother — December 7, 2005 @ 6:02 pm

  6. Hahahaha… great idea!!! :) and the jigsaw… classic. :)

    Comment by Corinne — December 8, 2005 @ 6:49 am

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