August 16, 2005

You might be a new daddy if…

  • You can tell the difference between breast milk and formula at a glance
  • The trading deadline passed and you have no idea who your team got
  • You walk around with vomit on you, only this time you’re sober
  • You?ve shown up at work with slacks but no belt
  • You leave the house forgetting a major step in your grooming regimen
  • You?ve become a little too familiar with the nuances of Closed Caption TV
  • You know the differences between Target and Wal-mart’s baby sections
  • You have a million pics of the kids but only five have you in the photo
  • You now get more baby magazines than sporting magazines
  • One of your Firefox Mozilla startup tabs is BabyCenter.com
  • You go around humming lullabies all day long
  • You spend more money on baby stuff than electronic equipment
  • You get a special glee when you?re able to buy electronic baby stuff
  • Your wife whips off her shirt and you know it?s not for you
  • When singing along with songs, you change the lyrics so that they are baby appropriate
  • Jokes about bowl movements just aren?t as funny anymore
  • Fart jokes, on the other hand, are still frickin? hilarious
  • If anyone wanted to sit in the backseat of your car, they would have to sit facing the rear
  • Your coffee table books now include Baby 411 and What to Expect, The First Year.
  • Instead of talking sports with the guys at work, you talk about solutions to reflux with the mothers.
  • You refer to yourself in the third person every where you go
  • You go to work to get some much needed rest
  • The phrase ?Who?s your Daddy? doesn?t mean what it used to

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