August 16, 2005

You might be a new daddy if…

  • You can tell the difference between breast milk and formula at a glance
  • The trading deadline passed and you have no idea who your team got
  • You walk around with vomit on you, only this time you’re sober
  • You?ve shown up at work with slacks but no belt
  • You leave the house forgetting a major step in your grooming regimen
  • You?ve become a little too familiar with the nuances of Closed Caption TV
  • You know the differences between Target and Wal-mart’s baby sections
  • You have a million pics of the kids but only five have you in the photo
  • You now get more baby magazines than sporting magazines
  • One of your Firefox Mozilla startup tabs is
  • You go around humming lullabies all day long
  • You spend more money on baby stuff than electronic equipment
  • You get a special glee when you?re able to buy electronic baby stuff
  • Your wife whips off her shirt and you know it?s not for you
  • When singing along with songs, you change the lyrics so that they are baby appropriate
  • Jokes about bowl movements just aren?t as funny anymore
  • Fart jokes, on the other hand, are still frickin? hilarious
  • If anyone wanted to sit in the backseat of your car, they would have to sit facing the rear
  • Your coffee table books now include Baby 411 and What to Expect, The First Year.
  • Instead of talking sports with the guys at work, you talk about solutions to reflux with the mothers.
  • You refer to yourself in the third person every where you go
  • You go to work to get some much needed rest
  • The phrase ?Who?s your Daddy? doesn?t mean what it used to

No Comments

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.


Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

Join other followers: