It’s probably a bad thing that TheMonk knows to fish around in the seat of his highchair if he ever wants an unscheduled snack.

On a positive note, I’m happy to report that a small child can survive after eating a three day one week two week three week old Cheerio.

Swee’Pea is the only girl in her daycare. And while I normally wouldn’t want that many boys surrounding my daughter day in and day out, I realize that they’re way more interested in their own dingaling than anything Swee’Pea happens to possess at the moment. That being said, it apparently hasn’t stopped Swee’Pea from working her “womanly” charms on the boys around the house.

We found this out today when my lovely wife was discussing Swee’Pea’s recent attachment to the “word” AAACK! with our daycare provider. The daycare provider mentioned that while she has noticed Swee’Pea’s tantrums and her use of the word, the only one she really pisses off at daycare is TheMonk. If she takes something from him, he’ll put up a fight and that definitely is an AAACK! moment for Swee’Pea. The other boys? They apparently have learned that it is best to just give Swee’Pea whatever she wants – just so she won’t go ballistic on them.

This explains a lot. It explains why our little one continues to use this “word” while we have refused to give in to her demands when she gets AAACKed out in our presence. (It works so well at that other place. Why won’t it work with these people, damnit?!) It also explains why my son holds his toys close to his body whenever Swee’Pea comes near.

This leads me to two thoughts. One, if we don’t get this attitude turned around quick, I will have a very small amount of pity for the man who finally marries Swee’Pea (Not a lot, though. I mean he will be taking my daughter). Two, TheMonk, apparently, will not be putting up with any of that from his future wife.

We do not over-use the word “No” in our house. We did not want our children to constantly use the word “NO!” as most toddlers are apt to do. Instead, we’ll say things like, “Please stay away from that.” or “Daddy doesn’t want you to do that.” Only when it’s something serious will we break out the “n” word.

Our plan, so far, has worked. However, it has come with unintended consequences. And right about now, “NO!” is sounding like a pretty good word. I say this because Swee’Pea has come up with her own form of protest that is 1,000 times more annoying than hearing the word NO!

When Swee’Pea is frustrated or doesn’t get her way she lets out a very loud, very staccato-sounding “AAACK!” This is not a melodius sound. It doesn’t conjure up images of ocean breezes or purring kittens. Instead it hammers away at the inside of your skull, disrupting synapses and killing brains cells. It boggles the mind that a girl this cute can make a sound that awful.

To make matters worse, Swee’Pea is 18-months going on two. She has a growing vocabulary but hasn’t yet made the connection that using her words would be greatly beneficial. In fact, the phrase “Use your words, Swee’Pea” has become a sort of mantra in our household. And when she does remember to use her words we party like it’s 1999. We clap. We cheer. We throw our hands in the air. While she loves this and is obviously proud of herself, unfortunately she forgets it the next time she gets frustrated.

“AAACK!”

Lord help us.