1) Unsolicited parenting advice shall not be offered to parents of small children.
2) Childcare providers shall not claim to have seen a major milestone prior to it being witnessed by one, but preferably both, parents.
3) No one person, without the express written consent of a child’s parent, shall introduce that child to any or all of the following: Elmo, Barney the Purple Dinosaur or the Teletubbies.
4) All parents shall use their kids as an excuse for not doing something they don’t want to do at least one time per week but not more than five times a week for fear of sounding inept.
5) All parents with children under the age of one may claim sleep deprivation as a valid excuse for just about anything, including but not limited to, falling asleep at work, wearing one grey sock and one black sock, forgetting your cup of coffee on the car roof, and just plain acting dumb.
6) All parents with children under the age of five shall be free of riducule when caught singing “Wheels on the Bus” while at work.
7) All parents, when questioned by their children, shall be able to use the phrase, “Because I said so” when they absolutely cannot think of a valid reason.
No parent shall be patronized by a child’s teacher or pediatrician simply because the parent advocates a different approach than said teacher or pediatrician.
9) No parent shall intimidate or threaten another person’s child unless that child is about to date your daughter.
10) No parent shall be tried in the court of public opinion for simply admitting, “I don’t know.”