It is a rare moment in time. I’m playing with all three kids at once and as I playfully lift GirlyGirl over my head, Swee’Pea and TheMonk, jump around me shrieking in joy, kinda like a scene out of Lord of the Flies, only without the pigs blood.
I’m enjoying the laughter and the shouts of glee, particularly from GirlyGirl who is reveling in the moment as three of her four favorite people are having fun around her. I swing GirlyGirl low, between my legs and then high, over my head. I repeat this motion several times until I’m forced to change direction as Swee’Pea steps into the line of fire.
Unfortunately, the change of directions has placed GirlyGirl’s kicking feet right in line with a part of my anatomy that is near and dear to me. She swings her feet hard and meets with a part of my body that rhymes with besticles, and suddenly, the world stops as I inhale deeply and make some guttural sound that only men in my situation can appreciate.
Everyone stops what they are doing. Me, Swee’Pea, TheMonk and even Mommy over on the couch. I make eye contact with the lovely wife and her look tells me she understands what just happened. Apparently, Swee’Pea understood as well.
“What happened?” She asks. “Did GirlyGirl kick you in the nuts?”
The next 10 years are gonna kill me, I think.