“You have Boy/Girl twins? Wow! So, you’re totally done having kids!”
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard this in the past five and a half years. It’s like we’ve completed the set and now there’s really no reason to have another child. And I think for the first couple of years the wife and I kind of agreed that we were done. I mean, the first year alone almost killed us. The lack of sleep, combined with our general cluelessness was enough to put the thought of ever doing this again way out of our minds.
But then things got easier. We survived breastfeeding (and when I say “we” I mean, “my wife”), double diaper changes, late night feedings, projectile vomiting and mobile toddlers relatively unscathed. Our kids, much to my surprise, turned out pretty well-behaved. They listen most of the time. They put away their things when asked and they mix a mean martini. And even though I still can’t use the bathroom without being interrupted, we began to get a little cocky. This parenting thing? We got this.
So at some point (I don’t remember exactly when but I can tell you that I was 100% sober) I turned to my wife and said, “Let’s do it. Let’s have another.” And she replied, “But what if we have two?” Oh yeah, that. And that had us stumped for a while. As far as I’m concerned my wife is more fertile than Napa Valley. Who knows how many eggs she’s pumping out of there at any given time? Visions of Jon and Kate danced through my head and I envisioned myself begging Oprah to buy us a bigger house or a small bus.
And then there’s the age thing. We’re not getting any younger. In fact, I am now older than my own mother was the day I graduated from High School. I’m old! My wife is younger than I and looks damn good if I do say so myself but even she’s entered an age where pregnancies are higher risk. Did we want to go through with that and all that could entail?
But then I’d look at Swee’Pea and TheMonk as they get on the bus each morning for school and wonder where the time went. Wasn’t it just yesterday I was smelling freshly bathed baby heads and blowing raspberries on baby bellies? Sigh. I missed that. And I know my wife did too. So we looked fate in the eye and said, “Let’s do it. Let’s have another baby.”
And before we knew it, we were blessed with this.
Also? It’s a girl. If she’s anywhere as spicy as Swee’Pea is, Lord help us.