This post has been a long time in coming. When I first started blogging I did it to keep my family and friends up to date on our lives as we moved far away from everyone we knew. As we became pregnant and had our twins it became even more important for me to blog to keep family in touch – but also to chronicle the lives of my kids and how much I love them. I want this blog to be a gift to them in the future.
But somewhere along the way I gained readers who weren’t related to me. This was unexpected but extremely gratifying. I put a counter on my blog and I began to be consumed by how many people were reading my blog on a daily basis. Many times my choice of blog posts were aimed more at these anonymous readers rather than my own kids. I had lost touch with who my audience really is.
It was then that I decided that I would re-focus my blog. Even though I might not appeal to some who were reading, I decided to focus almost entirely on fatherhood and stories about raising my two little ones. Through this transition I did lose some readers. Oh well. While it was hard to lose that readership I decided it was worth it. The only readers that really matter are Swee’Pea and TheMonk.
Not that I don’t appreciate all of you who continue to follow our story. You are certainly welcome to come along for the ride and I do appreciate the comments that most of you leave – showing your connectedness to the story that I have laid out. It allows me to feel bonded with many of you who are going through similar struggles and joys or can identify with what I am writing about.
But not every commenter has been welcome. My post immediately before this one, for example, produced an unexpected comment. In this post I played on the time-honored tradition of overprotective fathers when it comes to fathering a girl as well as my impending gun ownership. And, in my typical style, I tried to produce a laugh out of these two converging stories in my life. I liked what I wrote – even proud of the way it came together. Some of you who commented got it. You laughed along with me and I was pleased that you appreciated my sense of humor.
Then, yesterday my good friend MetroDad linked to me in a post and I got quite a few new visitors from his blog. One woman, a new visitor named Kat, left a comment that really, really bothered me. She called me sexist for writing about “protecting my daughter’s virtue” and asked why I wasn’t writing about protecting my son’s virtue. She was disappointed that I was “cultivating sexism.”
I have never been insulted on my own blog before. I have heard about it happening from other bloggers but never experienced it myself. I have only deleted one other comment on my blog before this one but I deleted it. Obviously she has not read the many, many posts I have written about how I want my daughter to grow up (this post, for example) and she didn’t know me. My attempt at humor was, to her, a sexist remark and I didn’t agree so I decided to remove her comment, send her an email explaining my thoughts on her comment and move on. But it still bothered me. And it didn’t die because today she left another comment asking why I deleted her previous comment.
So, I submit this to you, dear readers (old and new). I am who I am. I know that I am a good person who wants the very best for my children. I know that I have a good sense of humor but that not everyone may appreciate it all of the time. I know that I have respect for women, people of color and those who differ from me. I am not sexist. Nor am I perfect.
Because this is my personal blog and something that I take pride in and will someday want my children to read without being influenced by someone who has an impression of me that isn’t accurate because she does not know me AT ALL, I deleted the comment. As much as I love comments, I feel like I have the discretion to decide who comments on my blog. And THAT, Kat, is why I deleted your comment.
So, if you don’t like what you are reading, then there are an estimated 50 million other blogs out there to find something that which you can better relate. Some of you have connected to what I am writing here and I appreciate that. If you haven’t connected, then I encourage you to move on.
That is all I have to say about that.
Now, back to regularly scheduled programming.