Comments on: A guide for new parents

By: MIM

MIM — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 15:46:28 +0000

Awesome advice, Dude.

The only part I took exception with was the clothing thing. Bah-bie is still wearing her 9 month shorts (she’ll be 17 months in 2 weeks). In fact, the other day, she was hollering at me, and I turned around to find her pants down around ankles. They had, it seems, “fallen off.”

Don’t worry I’m feeding her butter. Lots and lots of butter.

By: Gidge

Gidge — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 11:16:21 +0000

I would say that the most important thing is for Dad to be with the program. My husband is a stay at home dad, so I am the one not with the program a lot. And it makes him so crazy. “They’re using spoons now!” What? They’re using spoons?
I miss a lot by not being here, but I’m so glad that he is here and that they are not in daycare.

By: macboudica

macboudica — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 13:29:49 +0000

All I know, after two years of raising twins, is that I don’t know anything. In other words, with twins, you must throw out your preconceived rule book and do whatever works (within reason, of course). You have to be open to new ideas because twins is a whole new animal. I do things so much differently with twins than I did with either of my singletons. For example, I was never much of a schedule person, but now the schedule is God. We go by the schedule or things go south with a quickness.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 20:07:43 +0000

Numbers 5 and 6 are directly related. If you stick with a schedule, the sleeping through the night thing is SOOOO much less painful. I have two kids with VERY different personalities, yet the routine is what got them both sleepign through the night at an early age, despite some challenges. Good list!

By: JGS

JGS — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 14:26:38 +0000

I absolutely second the schedule, the sleep (we had to use different techniques with each one of our Okapis), and the team concept. Four other things for expecting/new parents to think about.

1. Create your Guiding Principles of Parenting together – what are the overarching goals and principles you and your partner believe in? What kind of person do you want your child to be when they are 25 or 30 and how can you help them get there? Examples include – unconditional love, creating rituals, limits and boundaries, marriage/relationship, etc. These will help with dealing with how to handle getting them to sleep, eating, etc.

2. Don’t forget to take time out to enjoy your babies (or baby for those crazy people who only have one at a time). Sometimes it gets so hectic, so stressful it easy to forget that all of this is over little beings who you love immensely.

3. Don’t neglect your marriage/relationship. Take time whenever you can together to maintain your connection. It is the foundation of your new family and you two will need each other’s support and strength to get through difficult times. If things are good between you that becomes much easier.

4. Some parents – especially Dads and working parents – don’t always feel an immediate connection to their children. This is normal and NOT a sign of something wrong with you. You will develop a connection over time and before you know it you will be overwhelmed with how strongly you feel for your babies.

Okay, I’ll stop now. Great post! Thinking of turning it into an article?

By: Shan

Shan — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 04:22:33 +0000

The best advice I got was from my father in law in regards to holidays, family gatherings, family visits and such. He said, “you take your cues from the kids because in my experience if the kids aren’t happy then you aren’t happy. The rest of us will just have to fall in line.”

Also enjoy each stage your child is at. The dishes, laundry and vacuuming will wait. Take time out to play with your baby. They’ll be grown up before you know it.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 04:21:01 +0000

Every child is different (As we twin parents find out very quickly). What works(ed) for one or two children may not work for another (or twins). Please don’t offer advice if you haven’t been asked. There are so many good resources out there and if we can’t find it, we’ll let you know. And if you ask for advice, there are always plenty of people willing to give it, even if they have never had kids or twins or…. Don’t feel obligated to use it or to explain why you are doing something differently to someone who doesn’t agree with your choice. As the parent, you know your child the best.

By: kristied

kristied — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 01:22:15 +0000

I would definitely say the schedule thing is the most important thing. Getting them on a schedule is key!! And that does include using some sort of sleep method. Whatever method you chose, you have to stick to it for a few weeks. the hardest part of getting the kid on a schedule is putting yourself on a schedule.

Other than that, i would say that accepting help when it is offered and standing firm on your own parenting decisions are important as well. If it works for you and your child, then good!!

By: Nat

Nat — Wed, 31 May 2006 20:16:59 +0000

Thanks Julie. I think I’m going crazy with the suspense. It helps to know it could be moving a fraction of a nano inch at a time, and causing all kinds of symptoms and still never show. I’m having one of those “off sked” days here. The eternal dilemma, does one carry on like off kilter, or do you scrape and stretch it out to make the routine catch up with itself?

By: Julie

Julie — Wed, 31 May 2006 18:10:00 +0000

I don’t know if I have anything to add. The schedule thing is important, whether you let the baby fall into his/her own schedule or whether you kind of “mold” you baby to a schedule you pick. Always remember that there will always be those off-schedule days because of sickness, teething, nightmares or whatever, but do you best to keep it up.

Oh and this is for Nat, teething can take days or months depending on how your child is. A few of my kids had pain and cried and the next day had a tooth. The others would have a pain and then be okay for a little while and then have pain again, off and on until the tooth finally shows up. A dentist told me that some teeth will move a little and then stop and then move a little more and stop, so a baby could be “teething” for a long time. My two year old is still waiting on one of her canines and she has some days she is okay and some days where she is chewing her finger off. It’s been going on for a few weeks. Hopefully soon.