October 9, 2004

Perfection is NOT attainable, Part II

Andrea stepped out of the bathroom shower in our hotel and exclaimed, “Damnit!”

Me: “What”

Andrea: “I just rubbed conditioner on my body.”

Perfection is NOT attainable

Andrea and I studied the map given us at the car rental counter and tried to figure out where Connecticut was in relation to JFK airport. I mistakenly pointed West when, it turns out, it was clearly North.

As Andrea pointed this out, she said “You should put that in your blog – Mr. New York and you don’t know where Connecticut is.”

I replied, “The point of my blog is to make fun of other people, not myself.”

October 5, 2004

Who can I tell?

As I waited in line to place my Starbucks order, the lady in front of me ordered a decaf something or other. It seemed a complicated order for a single cup of coffee but the barista had no trouble comprehending her and I got the impression that she was a regular and ordered this drink frequently.

Sure enough, the barista confirmed this by asking if he made the drink correctly.

Woman: Yeah, but are you surprised I ordered a decaf
Barista: Well, now that you mention it…
W: It’s because, well I haven’t been to the doctor yet, but I’m 6 to 8 weeks pregnant.
B: Congratulations!
W: Thanks. I’m excited.
B: (after a pause to put whipped cream on the coffee) You’re married, right
W: Oh, yeah.
B: Well that’s a plus.
W: Yes.

October 4, 2004

Well now he won’t get into Medical School

Overheard at my Y. A father looking over the homework of his 6-year old son:

Father: “Wait, is this all the homework you have”

Son: “Yep!”

Father (as they walked out the door): “Wait, you did this wrong! You colored this all wrong!”

October 3, 2004

Peer Pressure

I finished unloading my groceries from the cart to the car and turned to look for the nearest cart rack in the parking lot. I spotted it about 50 feet away and proceeded to return the cart. As I placed the cart in it’s resting spot, a woman nearby commented to me, “I see you’re not lazy!” I responded that I always feel guilty leaving the cart in the parking lot.

As I was saying this, I was in the process of returning to my car. I noticed a young woman who had just finished unloading her groceries. We made eye contact and I could tell she had overheard our conversation. She hesitated briefly as I got into my car.

As I started up my car, she began the walk to return her cart.

October 1, 2004

Men are pigs

Friday morning is usually a light traffic day here in San Diego. However, today I was caught in an early-morning traffic jam. As I sat in traffic, the traffic reporter on the radio reported why I was creeping along. Apparently, two women had gotten into a minor fender-bender and were on the side of the road exchanging information. This is usually not enough to cause traffic to crawl.

The reporter stated that the reason traffic was slow was due to the “attractiveness of the parties involved.”

Counter Update – Insomniac found

Thank you to the person who visited my website between 4:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. I hope this blog didn’t put you to sleep too quickly.

On a similar note, if you type “child who is afraid to poop” into Yahoo, my blog is #8. Poophopbia could ruin a kid for life but my website won’t solve the problem.

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